Axver (axver) wrote,

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Today's English lesson.

"I don't need no proof" is part of a screen name that I noticed on MSN today. I constantly hear statements constructed similarly to this, or the classic "I don't know nothing." This truly pisses me off. Has the whole English speaking world lost its appreciation for the language it speaks? The screen name that I noticed continued on to say the person did NOT need any proof, in direct contradiction to the statement "I don't need no proof." Now some of you may be wondering where I'm finding the contradiction, really. If you try to put "I don't need no proof" into other words, you will very quickly discover that it means "I do need proof", NOT "I don't need proof." Indeed, people think they're sounding cool or whatever else moronic they want to sound by adding this 'no', but not only does it change the meaning of what they're saying, it also ADDS an extra word. The people who say this stuff are usually the Internet abbreviation folk who try to shorten everything, so the fact they are the ones leading the 'no' charge is very ironic.

One of my pet peeves of late is people saying "I don't know nothing." Typical conversation between me and an I-don't-know-nothing person;

Me: So what do you know about < incident >?
Person: I don't know nothing.
Me: Oh, so what do you know?
Person: I don't know nothing!
Me: Yes, and I want to know what you know.
Person: I told you, I DON'T KNOW NOTHING!
Me: Yes, and I want to know what you know because you obviously know SOMETHING!
Person: *very aggressively* I DON'T KNOW NOTHING!
Me: So if you don't know nothing, you must know something. What do you know?
*Person walks away, annoyed*
*I am astounded by their stupidity*

Is it that hard a concept to grasp? If you don't know nothing, you must know something. Is it too hard to say "I know nothing"? Surely it's EASIER than adding the 'don't', because it's one LESS word to say. Or just say "I don't know anything." Good Zooropa, is it that bloody hard to understand? I'm sick of hearing stupid crap like "I don't know nothing" because it means the exact opposite of what the person intends it to mean, even though they're too dumb to realise it, and it just makes them look extremely stupid - or at least extremely stupid to those of us who actually have an adequate grasp of the English language.

To summarise, NEVER say stupid stuff like "I don't need no proof" when you mean that you do NOT need any proof, or "I don't know nothing". NEVER. NEVER. NEVER! Thank you.
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