But it CAN'T BE OVER! I NEED it to still be there. I don't just want it to be there, it wouldn't just be nice for it to be there, it wouldn't just be a pleasant occurrence for it to pop back into existence. I NEED THE LBMB. It was a happy place, a place where I could go to escape everything else, a place I could go and cry on when I needed to, a place to socialise, a place to debate and learn, a place to help me to grow as a person. Without it, I feel like I am less of a person. Without it, we all are less. It was something so wonderful.
What I truly cannot stand is how people who never went to the LBMB - in particular YTF - or only went there from time to time just don't get it and don't care. They think I'm a stupid bloody prat for feeling how I do, but they just don't understand, and none seem to make much of an effort to, either. My best friend told me to mourn for a day and move on. This isn't just those "Oh I'm upset now but I'll be right in the morning" things. Why don't I just go take away HIS home? See how he likes it ...
I am so lost when I get online now. I used to check my e-mails, check my (vehemently evil) download limit, and then go to the LBMB. Sometimes I would go straight to YTF first, before checking e-mails and the limit. But now, I check my e-mails, check my download limit, and then sit there dithering, unsure what to do or where to go. I'm so lost, like I'm wandering about aimlessly in the wilderness. I'm almost at the point of asking "Who am I?", but at least I know the answer to THAT: "A better person thanks to YTF".
"If I could/You know I would/If I could, I would/Let it go" - U2, Bad
Perfect quote for how I feel right now, that is.
And one that really sums up how I feel about YTF;
"There's a place I go and it's a part of me" - U2, Stories For Boys
Finally, one that is insanely appropriate to the situation at hand;
"Is it like a tape recorder?/Can we rewind it just once more?" - U2, Wake Up Dead Man