Axver (axver) wrote,

Tyndale can go throw their collective self in a river

I'm so annoyed at Tyndale right now. They've robbed me of my home, my friends, my place of happiness, laughter, debate, and joy, they've left me with nothing but memories, memories that will fade. I don't want to lose these memories, but you do lose them, they fade over time, and that realisation seriously hurts. It hurts beyond belief. My home is gone, my memories will be gone, and soon it'll be like 11 of the best months of my life never happened. YTF kept me sane - or at least sanely insane - and now, I have nothing. I am less than me without it. It made me a better person, it really did.

When I became a Christian, I was very impressionable. I was convinced Harry Potter was evil, I was nearly turned into a Catholic-basher, and, if it wasn't for U2, I would've thought secular music was evil, too. I was being moulded from a vile atheist into a bubble Christian. If it wasn't for YTF and the wonderful people there, I would have become a bubble Christian. But, thanks to the people at YTF, I've come to a true understanding as to what Christianity is. They've really shown me a great many things, and, all of you at YTF, I thank you dearly for it and love you all. You've helped me grow into the person I am.

I just still refuse to believe it's gone. I don't want it to be gone. It can't be gone. It was something fixed in my life, a certainty. I could always go there, and be happy. It was a rock, it was going to be there forever. But now someone's dynamited it, blasted it to pieces, and now they're grinding the pieces down into nothing. Soon it will be all gone, just because some dicksnap at Tyndale figured it would be a smart move, or at least a money-making move. Well I hope that person becomes a bum on the street. I hope Tyndale rots. They can all go throw themselves in a river, for taking away my home, for leaving me with nothing tangible.

All I am left with is files on my computer of YTF threads, screenshots, et cetera. I'm going to go round saving profiles tomorrow. I need something to keep, something. I can't lose it all. It can't all be inside my head. I don't want to lose it, I really don't. I need it, and now that I don't have it, I am ... empty, lost, all those sorts of things.

I wish it would come back. I wish I would wake up. I can't believe I'm still asleep in this nightmare. Someone, please, wake me up, get me out of here.

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