Axver (axver) wrote,

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Axver's adventures in the real world III: More weird people on trams!

I think I'm going to start compiling a list of all the strange and weird people I encounter on trams. I imagine it could grow to become rather amusing. Except for the first guy in this entry, whose presence made me feel uncomfortable, these weird people tend to make commuting to university or travelling to and from Kate's place a bit more interesting.

So, without any further ado, here's some more of the bizarre Melburnians (that's not a typo, folks) I've come across on the trams.

1. About a week ago now, I was riding home from Kate's place, listening to my iPod and trying not to miss the Domain Road Interchange as I don't know the area all too well. While travelling down Fitzroy Street in St Kilda, this dishevelled guy boarded the tram and looked rather homeless, but he headed down to the other end of the tram and I initially thought nothing more of him. For a while, I was a bit oblivious to what was occurring down the other end of the tram, but a few stops from Domain Road, the homeless guy came back up the front and started harassing an American passenger, evidently after bothering the people down the back. In what can only be described as being in the truest tradition of the American who verbally beats Basil Fawlty down to size on the Fawlty Towers episode "Waldorf Salad", this guy got up and very forcefully tried to make the homeless guy be quiet - or in his words, "sit down, shut up, or spend the night in jail" - before asking the driver to call the police, which he promptly did. The American passenger then went down the other end of the tram, threatening the homeless guy with a fist in the face if he followed. So for the next couple of minutes, I found myself sitting opposite the homeless guy while he rambled on, initially in the direction of the American and then seemingly at no-one. He initially tried to boast about his strength and that as a meatworker, he could win any fight, but this soon deteriorated into incomprehensible nonsense about "you'll go down to the meatworks, yeah, that's where you'll end up, that's where you'll find me". I was very happy when I bailed at Domain Road and left the homeless guy behind!

2. Sometime last week, I was riding through Royal Park when the driver just began singing a pleasant and upbeat tune to himself. It made a change from weird passengers who sing to themselves! Well, nice to have a driver in a cheerful mood, I suppose.

3. Last night, I was riding the tram pretty late, and as you would expect on a Friday night, there were drunk people about, including a group of three people near me - I think a brother and sister and one of their friends. They spent the entire time talking extremely loudly, completely oblivious to the fact most of the tram could hear what was obviously a private conversation. It began with the girl discussing how she'd tried cocaine a few times while in the USA and soon drifted to the sexual experiences of the three - how many people they'd had sex with, when they lost their virginity, whether the virgins they'd had sex with had cried, and so on. Certainly too much information, and not a conversation I could imagine having in public in hushed tones, let alone in very strong voice!

4. Tram driver last night, over the intercom: "Good news for St Kilda fans: they won! Poor Essendon." Yep, Aussie Rules results announced by the driver. Can you tell I live in Melbourne?
Tags: axver's adventures in the real world, melbourne, trams, weird people
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