Axver (axver) wrote,

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I feel I should make an update. I'm rather surprised that it has been two weeks since my last update. It doesn't feel that way. In any case, things aren't going so well here. I suppose the best way to put it is that things are stressful, and I've responded by retreating into my own world and not getting much done beyond extensive listening to music. I don't suppose anyone here uses I've found it to be a useful outlet for my current music binge, but I haven't exactly found much company. Say hi if you're there, I'm Axver as always.

There's a lot I wish to write on. I have a half-written rant about religious hypocrites. I want to make vehement posts about more political topics such as capital punishment and David Hicks. I want to lament the total worthlessness of the current Ashes series. And maybe I should try using writing as an outlet for my current stress, especially with relation to the move to Melbourne. But I have so little faith in my writing ability any more. I dread arguments. That's part of why I've stopped posting as frequently, not just here but elsewhere too. Another important part is exhaustion. There's only so much you can say to bigots.

I look back at who I used to be, so confident to engage in debate and speak his mind, even to the point of over-confidence. Then, I would jump into any debate that was on offer; now, I'm reluctant to partake even when it's fair to say that I have more extensive knowledge on the matter than most other participants. I no longer feel as if I have anywhere I particularly belong either. I've tried to join some new communities but found them to be cold and unwelcoming.

This entry is rather out of character for me, I realise that. Part of my brain is telling me not to post it. As a matter of fact, I wouldn't post it if I'd made more entries recently. But I figure an update is in order, so here it is. Have a good one, folks.
Tags: life, music, the past
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