Axver (axver) wrote,

  • Music:
I'm seeking the help of anyone who's prepared to give it. Basically, I'm looking for your well-thought out academic opinion on two versions of an essay I have written. The first, 'new order of government', is the original copy I wrote. The second, 'role of government in private lives', incorporates changes I made after discussion with my tutor (I could only show him a one page plan, not the actual essay, which undoubtedly hindered things, especially as I rarely do detailed plans). I'm not sure which I prefer, and it's due tomorrow so I need opinions rather urgently - say, by midday Australian eastern time, which is 10pm US eastern/7pm US Pacific. I guess I'm paranoid that I had an excellent original essay and my changes have caused the quality to deteriorate. The two have slightly different central arguments, and I would like anyone who reads this to assess just how well I support and prove those arguments and how well the essay flows in general. Odds are, regardless of which I choose to use, I will take the historical context paragraph from the version on government in private lives.

The topic is on the political impact of the Reformation on the Genevan Republic in the 16th century. (To clarify: that's the impact IN the 16th century, not the impact of the 16th century Reformation on the Genevan Republic outside of that century.)

'New order of government' form.

'Role of government in private lives' form.

Strangely enough, both have a word count of 2,132 words (counting footnotes). In the actual essay, I use footnotes rather than endnotes; this is just the way I could get it to copy easiest. Please avoid comments on grammar/footnote style/spelling unless it's a glaring error. I'm more concerned with how I argue my argument, flow points together, general quality than I am with whether you think I should split a sentence or use 'but' instead of 'however'. (Though such suggestions are of course appreciated!)

Thank you so much to anyone who takes the time to read these essays for me. I'm terrified of totally flubbing this and I really appreciate any assistance, opinions, thoughts, guidance, etc. I don't want to hand in an essay worth a 5 when the other copy is good enough to get me a 7.

Just to make this fun, a poll.

Which essay is better?

'New order of government' form.
'Role of government in private lives' form.
I think they are of equal merit.
I can't/won't help you, but YAY POLL! Clickclickclick!
Tags: essays, help, politics, university

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