Axver (axver) wrote,

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When obsession passes extreme ...

Lately, I've started to daydream more and more about a U2 tour. Whenever I'm depressed, I think that a U2 concert would make everything better. I don't care if it actually would or not, I just enjoy the thought that it would. I NEED a U2 concert, NEED, NEED, NEED. And I wish they'd get around to releasing their new CD. To quote my comment from the MB on at;

'I'm nearly dying from the agony of waiting for the new album. If it doesn't come out soon enough, I might just go insane. I wish they'd at least release some single now to help ease the agony.'

I need new U2. I need more U2. I'm going to go out and try to find more U2 CDs. I'm hopefully going to be getting Wide Awake In America and the Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me single soon, and I'm desperate to hear some of their early stuff, like Another Day, and rare B-Sides like Touch, Treasure (Whatever Happened To Pete The Chop?), and J. Swallow. I am also trying to hunt down bootlegs, although I know that's an almost impossible task.

Is there a problem with my U2 obsession? Is it going too far? I fear maybe I'm putting too much attention onto U2 and taking it away from God ... but then I remember U2 has many Christian themes in their music ... and I also get some thought that maybe it's a bubblised Christian thought to think what I'm thinking ... and then I just get confused.

Heh, now I'm happy, I'm just cruising round the MB, feeding my addiction. It's fun. Listening to U2, posting about U2, writing about U2 ... it makes me feel good. Helps me to feel better, less lonely, and conveniently makes me ignore the fact I have a stupid Drama assignment to work on. I'm going to do some of that tomorrow. It's due on Friday ... grr ... sickies were invented for a reason! Well, I hope I don't have to pull a sickie, but if the worst comes to the worst, I'm prepared to consider it.

And now, on a completely random note, these lyrics have hit me as wonderful;

'I don't believe in painted roses or bleeding hearts
While bullets rape the night of the merciful
I'll see you again when the stars fall from the sky
And the moon has turned red over One Tree Hill' - U2, One Tree Hill

Right, back on to reasonable topics (i.e. nothing U2). I've realised I probably need to find a church, because I need somewhere to go when I have problems with faith or anything. Well, I don't know if church is the answer, but I'd still like to go anyway. I fear to think what I may find - bubblised Christians and whatnot - but the idea also excites me. Shame I can't get a ride and there's nowhere within walking distance. I used to spend time on a Sunday morning in my room with my Bible and a highlighter (along with at night before I go to bed), but I've gotten very slack and rarely remember to do that. I need to remember tomorrow. My faith is in trouble so I need to do something to build it up.

One thing I've noticed is that I have trouble with a lot of things in the Bible. If Jesus came today instead of 2000 years ago, I'd probably be one of the people labelling Him a crackpot. "So You think You're God's Son? Haha, yeah right, and I'm The Edge." "Oh, so You performed that miracle? You expect me to believe THAT? You can't feed thousands of people with only a few loaves and fishes, and you can't con me into believing you did." So why is it that if He came today, I would probably laugh, but I can believe in Him when He came 2000 years ago? Can anyone offer me some sort of assistance here?

Also, I've realised that I have trouble with a lot of Bible verses. Well, it's not actually the verse I have trouble with, but the way too many people interpret them. You have Christians who seem to relish persecution and go out looking for it. They parade it about and it annoys me. Some of their actions make me think "No bloody wonder you're being persecuted, you arrogant, judgemental prat."

Hmmm ... now that I think about it, I probably would believe in Jesus if He came today instead of 2000 years ago. The doubt that's been put into my mind is from those stupid people going around professing to do miracles but are proven to be frauds, but because they often do it in the Name of Jesus, they wouldn't be around if He came today instead of 2000 years ago, so there goes the problem. Plus, seeing His miracles were genuine, I'd actually accept them ... I'd hope I would, anyhow.

Now I think I'm just going to start rambling and not making sense, so I may go. Looks like I'm going to come second on the moderator vote on LBMBLUB. Yay for me. Start of July = administrator of AoG, moderator of nowhere. 2/3 through July = administrator of AoG, moderator at 3 places. Craziness. Oh, and I think Lauren light_so_bright will be back tomorrow. I've missed talking to her this last week. Lauren, I hope you've had a good time.

Anyhow, I said I'd go, so I shall. Better keep my word.

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