So ssshhhh, don't tell anyone! Don't let anyone see. This is for your eyes only. I'm letting you in on a piece of information so that you don't go insane in the coming months and years.
Kate and I are going to conquer the world with an army of penguins ...
... PUSHING LAWNMOWERS! FWOOHAHAHAHAHA!!!
(Picture is courtesy of purplicious because she's cool and I'm lazy.)
These ear-piercing, skull-grinding, finger-mangling devices of mechanical doom, pushed by my army of fearless penguins, shall send the entire human race INSANE. And when the world is told the only way to make the penguins stop is to surrender to the demands of Kate and I, everyone will, in their insane and deluded state, pander to our every whim, granting us our dictatorship and more!
There is no stopping the onslaught of the lawnmowers. As you can see in the picture, they are specially fitted to the penguins and work on all surfaces, even ice. Not only will we place humanity in an insane state whereby they will do whatever we demand, we will also subjugate the very earth, stunting its development and growth until we achieve victory in our conquests. So you see, our glorious rise to the position of Co-dictators of the World will be good for the planet, returning it to a state of growth, and good for humanity, bringing all people of the world back to a sane frame of mind. I would advise you now to stock up on hayfever tablets and ear muffs.
Whatever you do, do not present any opposition. It will be bad for your health. Simply be prepared. I'm warning you for a reason.