You Know You're From New Zealand When...
You know what to do in an Earthquake: get into the nearest doorway before any other bugger and say, "Nah, i don't reckon it's the big one this time. We'll be right" If I still lived in the country, yes, I'd do that.
You can hum the theme song to Coronation Street. Urgh, unfortunately I can.
You know what apples really taste like (and that there are more than four different kinds) The ones here in Australia just don't taste like apples.
You know rugby league is not, and never will be, an international sport. Of course it isn't. Some people think it is?
You're not sure about cricket, either. Or hockey. Or netball. Or swimming. Or the women's 400m. Or any other sport in which Australia are world champions. Yes, you're even having doubts about real rugby. Real rugby? Never. But yes to the others!
You know what happened to the lead singer of Push Push. Lead singer of who now?
You're seen Split Enz, or former members thereof, performing live at least once. I HAVEN'T. My life is incomplete. Maybe Tim and Neil Finn will come play here soon ...?
You reckon anyone who carries on about how great they are is an up-themselves wanker. Or an Australian. Too. Bloody. True.
You wouldn't dream of wearing thongs on your feet. Thats what jandals are for. Jandals and sandals folks. Jandals and sandals.
The name "Chappell" still makes you queasy. UNDER-ARM BASTARD!
You know someone who worked on The Lord of the Rings or Xena. Multiple people.
You wish Fitzy, Zinzan and Josh were still playing for the ABs. DAMNIT, YES. I'm surprised this thing doesn't mention "Bring back Buck." I've even seen signs like that in recent years! Fitzy was the best captain ever and the team just doesn't feel right without him. Zinny owned the number eight position and there's a reason he's in my interests. His biography's also bloody great. Go buy it. And I have Kronfeld's signature.
The dairy sells more than just stuff from cows. And my grandparents owned one along with the grocery shop, so I grew up in the place. I sat by the window and kept a tally of the colours of the cars that went past.
You rolled Snifters, rather then Jaffas, down the aisle at the movies. Nope, they're jaffas, and I ate them. Why roll away good food?
You know something's horribly wrong if you've been driving for more then 2 hours without the scenery changing. The Outback scares me.
The words "NZ cricket victory" just don't sound right, somehow. Sod off, you!
You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from New Zealand. Or post it in your LJ. Either or.
Reason #749 why Geography is fun: you can actually factually prove that one country is the worst country on earth. Take a guess which one it is and why! I did enjoy today's lesson, even if some of the facts proved to be horribly shocking. I was thinking about some of it on the way home today, after we got caught in some nightmarish traffic that came about as a result of some council geniuses deciding to perform roadworks in a most disruptive manner. I can say some pretty bad things about other countries and places, but my harshest words are reserved for the Gold Coast. I cannot fathom why we moved here and I will be leaving the state of Queensland the second I have completed my education. It's too warm, and this city itself is HORRIBLE. I can cite a lot of examples of disastrous planning and environmental destruction overseas, but why look internationally when I can just look out my window and see the most poorly planned city I have ever visited? Money talks - if you have cash, you can rape the land as many times as you like. Floodplain? What floodplain? Mangrove swamp? Man grows swamp? Sand dunes? They hinder me from getting to my [won't be for much longer] sandy beach!
I used to love living here, believe it or not. A few years ago, I thought this was a really nice city, even if the traffic and roads were pretty poor sometimes. Maybe familiarity does breed contempt. Or - and I would suspect this is correct - my eyes were opened to the reality of the city and its population has continued to grow at an absurd rate the infrastructure cannot handle. There's construction everywhere, and it's bloody awful. A new road has gone in on the hill behind me where the forest fire was not so long ago. What was disused land on the way home from school is now cluttered by a bunch of houses forced so close together you'd probably feel like you live in a shoebox. The roads are a disaster and the public transportation is beyond a joke. And people just don't care.
Give me what I want and no-one gets hurt.
I'm just as guilty as anyone else living here in this Western civilisation of ours. I consume excessively. I take my material possessions for granted. I confuse needs and wants. If you think I'm just ranting about other people and trying to establish myself as some Fantastically Wonderful Fellow, you're totally wrong. I'm ranting against myself too. I'm ranting against my own indifference. I know I'm a hypocrite, but at least I can acknowledge that, unlike some of you who are no longer reading this.
Anyway. I honestly think that we as the human race have passed the point of no return. Our lifestyle and civilisation is such that we do not take heed of the environment and take whatever we want (oil being the current hot issue), and to return to sustainable levels of living, we would have to adjust our lifestyle in a way that is just too drastic to be even possible to many of us, and require a level of co-operation that is not attainable. Western civilisation is environmentally unsustainable, but change towards sustainability is completely impractical, especially considering the extreme hypocrisy and greed of the nations that would have to take the first steps. I don't see that as a reason to give up, though, and I definitely don't see it as a reason to consume wantonly. I firmly believe in making the best out of a bad situation and sustaining what we can as best we can.
That would require a change in the prevalent attitudes of today's society, namely the one I emphasised with my quote earlier. People do live by the motto of "give me what I want and no-one gets hurt," even if they don't realise it. I probably do and so do you. However, as the ongoing environmental destruction of the planet proves, the motto is totally wrong - give me what I want and no-one gets hurt in the immediate future, but ultimately, everyone gets hurt. Ripping out vast tracts of rainforest to build extravagant, wasteful housing complexes on floodplains may give some people what they want, but when the storms come, the rain will flood down the cleared hills and into the houses on the forgotten floodplain. The environment is a delicate thing we do not fully comprehend, and the way we abuse it is nothing other than complete folly and foolishness.
Of course, I'll bet you that even if you are giving mental agreement to what I'm saying, you won't do a thing. I won't, and I'm the fellow writing the thing! I know myself well enough to know that any claim otherwise would be proven a lie by the passage of time. I'd much rather that last sentence be wrong than any claim otherwise.
Push the button and pull the plug, say goodbye, oh oh oh ...
In other news, I have a debating competition on Sunday at UQ, of all places. I'm very much looking forward to it - my last chance to debate in high school, and I'm working with a couple of grade tens to give them some experience. I also have a couple of assignments I'd like to get out of the way quickly, but we'll see what my procrastination has to say about that.