Axver (axver) wrote,
Axver
axver

  • Mood:
  • Music:

My ramblings

Alright, it's actually going to happen tonight; I'm going to bed early. Yes, by 11pm is early for me. I love the idea of staying up insanely late (2am) and sleeping in until 11am or more, but with the return of school and the demise of my freedom, I must return to sleeping habits that involve me getting up at the inhumane hour of 7am. So tomorrow is my last day of holidays. I'm sad, very sad. I can't even take U2 CDs to class with me. I can take my discman to school, but firstly it churns through batteries at an alarming rate (15 hours for two batteries if I'm lucky) and I can only listen to it at morning tea, lunchtime, and during study, so ...

Good Zooropa, I never realise just how much I despise school until I go back. Why is it everyone expects me to like it because I'm so academic? It's bloody pointless, boring, a stupid way to waste my day, deprives me of valuable time to do other stuff, and so much stuff I'm taught I already know, and not just because I'm intelligent - they don't need to bloody teach us how to write analytical essays four years in a freaking row.

Grr, I haven't even done all I wanted to do tonight. I wanted to go post on a couple of messageboards - in fact, I was going round posting last night when my computer froze at an inopportune time (but that meant I could fully devote my attention to the VERY thrilling rugby match that was on) - but I'll have to get off soon so there go my plans. Anyone care to give me a few more hours for each day? Grr, I also have a few e-mails to write I may not get the time to write, I was going to do some reading, and ... my plans always get blown.

Now I've recently become a moderator at the RPG Central MB (http://com3.akheva.com/brpgcentral.), where I am attempting to get an add-on story going (the first two were deleted but the Admin says they won't delete this third one I've got going, which basically continues on from where the second one was at, and explains everything quite well). So if you want to join in, go to http://com3.akheva.com/brpgcentral.fwriterscorner.t32, please. The more the merrier. Some of the people on the board are morons - check out this thread (http://com3.akheva.com/brpgcentral.fdiscussion.t13) if you don't believe me - but some of them are intelligent, nice people, and it's not too dreadful a place. Geez, who am I trying to kid? All places SUCK compared to YTF. I don't care how good they are, they're not YTF and it hurts. I'm trying so hard not to hate Tyndale, because I shouldn't hate. I should forgive them ... but the bastards took away YTF! I need that place. Nowhere else is like it, at all. I need it, so very much. I clicked on the link to it in my favourites, but then I stopped it, because I knew that stupid bloody message that says it's closed was about to come up, and that's too painful to look at.

Oh YTF, YTF ... I'm still homeless. And it would've been a year today. That hurts, it really does. So what that I was there for almost a year?
[Error: Irreparable invalid markup ('<there [...] wouldn't>') in entry. Owner must fix manually. Raw contents below.]

Alright, it's actually going to happen tonight; I'm going to bed early. Yes, by 11pm is early for me. I love the idea of staying up insanely late (2am) and sleeping in until 11am or more, but with the return of school and the demise of my freedom, I must return to sleeping habits that involve me getting up at the inhumane hour of 7am. So tomorrow is my last day of holidays. I'm sad, very sad. I can't even take U2 CDs to class with me. I can take my discman to school, but firstly it churns through batteries at an alarming rate (15 hours for two batteries if I'm lucky) and I can only listen to it at morning tea, lunchtime, and during study, so ...

Good Zooropa, I never realise just how much I despise school until I go back. Why is it everyone expects me to like it because I'm so academic? It's bloody pointless, boring, a stupid way to waste my day, deprives me of valuable time to do other stuff, and so much stuff I'm taught I already know, and not just because I'm intelligent - they don't need to bloody teach us how to write analytical essays four years in a freaking row.

Grr, I haven't even done all I wanted to do tonight. I wanted to go post on a couple of messageboards - in fact, I was going round posting last night when my computer froze at an inopportune time (but that meant I could fully devote my attention to the VERY thrilling rugby match that was on) - but I'll have to get off soon so there go my plans. Anyone care to give me a few more hours for each day? Grr, I also have a few e-mails to write I may not get the time to write, I was going to do some reading, and ... my plans always get blown.

Now I've recently become a moderator at the RPG Central MB (http://com3.akheva.com/brpgcentral.), where I am attempting to get an add-on story going (the first two were deleted but the Admin says they won't delete this third one I've got going, which basically continues on from where the second one was at, and explains everything quite well). So if you want to join in, go to http://com3.akheva.com/brpgcentral.fwriterscorner.t32, please. The more the merrier. Some of the people on the board are morons - check out this thread (http://com3.akheva.com/brpgcentral.fdiscussion.t13) if you don't believe me - but some of them are intelligent, nice people, and it's not too dreadful a place. Geez, who am I trying to kid? All places SUCK compared to YTF. I don't care how good they are, they're not YTF and it hurts. I'm trying so hard not to hate Tyndale, because I shouldn't hate. I should forgive them ... but the bastards took away YTF! I need that place. Nowhere else is like it, at all. I need it, so very much. I clicked on the link to it in my favourites, but then I stopped it, because I knew that stupid bloody message that says it's closed was about to come up, and that's too painful to look at.

Oh YTF, YTF ... I'm still homeless. And it would've been a year today. That hurts, it really does. So what that I was there for almost a year? <There was a cricket analogy here, but I just realised most, if not all people reading this wouldn't understand it> So what that I have the memories, so what that I had the highest post count on YTF from the change in January until the end, so what if I had almost a year there, SO BLOODY WHAT? IT'S BLOODY GONE NOW! People try to tell me that I'm meant to move on to newer and better things - maybe I am, with becoming a mod on RPGC and leading the mod polling currently on LBMBLUB - but I don't care for that talk right now, because I want YTF back NOW, and I don't give a shit what else there is. Tyndale ruined my holidays. Well, them and Lily.

I am so thankful I talked to Lauren on Saturday. I know she doesn't think she did much, but when I was talking to her, all the horrid emotions Lily was making me feel had me nearly on the point of throwing up, and I would've if Lauren hadn't put things in perspective for me. I felt just that bit better, just enough to avert a throw-up. Good bob, I'd love to throw up right on Lily's face. She'd deserve it, the lying, sob-story-selling, whiny attention-whore. She whines that her heart is broken and that she wasted money on coming to Australia and NZ when she won't get to see me much (maybe not at all unless the stupid girl gets her act together and rings me), but, honestly, I don't care. She's played me, toyed with my emotions, put me against my friends and put some of my acquiantances against each other, tried to keep me exactly how she wanted me, not listened to rational advice, lied, made me feel like shit, tried to guilt-trip me, wasted my time, and done other crap to me. WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T I LISTEN WHEN I WAS WARNED ABOUT HER? Look what I've done to myself! All of you were right when you warned me! So very right. Please forgive me for ignoring your advice and brushing it aside, and please forgive me for being such a moron, such an ignoramus. I was a fool.

On a completely different topic, I probably should be going now. I need to get that early night. I need sleep, lots of sleep.

Oh yes, an update on Patrick (no, not Fade Patrick, my friend at school Patrick who I mentioned earlier in regards to a skiing accident): he says he'll be OK and will be at school, but he has lost some hearing (thankfully it should come back in a few months), and he may've done some damage to his brain, in regards to limited attention and mental capacity. It's nothing serious, and hopefully it's not permanent, but he's afraid it may cause his grades at school to slip. He also has minor amnesia - he can't remember any of the half hour before the accident or the day after it. He can only remember an hour of skiing and then waking up in hospital at midnight. So again I ask that you please pray for him.

Now I will be going. Sleep awaits.
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 3 comments