Someone recently: Is it really the cold season down there, or do you guys just call it winter?
Me: I'm on winter holidays now.
Some moron: So you have Christmas and all that now?
Me: No, why would we? That's not until 25 December.
Some moron: What do you mean by winter holidays then?
Me: I have nearly a month off.
Twit: That's a short summer break.
Me: It's winter down here. Southern Hemisphere, remember?
Twit: Oh, yeah, right. Still a short break between school years.
Me: Our school years run with the calendar year.
Twit: So you don't get any time off at all, you're always in school?
And the typical one ...
Me: I'm on winter holidays.
Person: Don't you mean summer?
Yes, you twit. I like calling my summer holidays winter because I'm just that stupid that I can't tell seasons apart. I live in a shack, two kangaroos are lying at my feet, my Dad wrestles crocodiles, my brother is a koala, and I get my Internet by dialling America via a crappy telephone line strung from tree to tree. Grrr.
I think I'm going to make this abundantly clear ...
I live in Queensland, Australia, SOUTHERN HEMISPHERE. These are our seasons: Summer (December-February), Autumn (March-May and it's autumn, NOT fall, so don't call it that), Winter (June-August), and Spring (September-November). I do not have a long break for school now because IT IS NOT SUMMER. I think this idea of going up a grade in the middle of the year is stupid and foreign. I'm also not familiar with this idea of summer school. It is a foreign concept to me. DEAL WITH IT. This is NOT a hard thing to grasp: when you have summer in the north, we have winter in the south. Oh, and guess what? The south is NOT IN THE USA. The south is BELOW the equator. You know, below that dotted line on your globe. Place where Christmas is in summer, remember? Really, you had to have learnt this. It is common knowledge that YOU SHOULD KNOW.