Axver (axver) wrote,

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I feel like shit. I'm all moody and depressed and I don't know why. But I am and I'm moping. Whatever happened to that amazingly good mood of earlier this year? I wish I knew. Oh yes, the world crashed my party.

I can't stop listening to Achtung Baby and The Unforgettable Fire.

It sucks so much not being able to drive. I truly hate it. Damn my eyesight. I mean, sure, it's good on some counts - I don't have to worry about the price of a car, insurance, petrol, and all that stuff. But it still really stinks. I wish I could just get in a car and go places I want to go when I want to go. I missed out on Melissa's birthday party on Thursday because Mum was out and so I had no transport. If I had normal frigging eyesight, I would've been driving for over six months now. I may not be the most social person - in fact, I'm about as antisocial as they come - but I still like to get out, you know? It stinks having to be at the whims of your mother if you want to go anywhere. I do happen to like bookshops and spending lots of time there. I also wouldn't mind a bit of train chasing. That's one thing a lot of you might not know about me, that I'm a railfan. I'd dearly love to go driving around and follow trains. I remember an article in Time magazine where some railfans were accused of being terrorists, which really shows just how jumpy and over-reactive people can be. If it wasn't so pathetic and moronic, that article would've made me laugh.

On an amusing note, here's something Sam said to me yesterday: "I'm a social butterfly. You are through me. You do absolutely nothing and still meet people." It's true, too. When I'm not hanging around with Sam, I meet no-one and just lurk in library aisles or quiet corners, but when I'm with him, we walk around and I meet all kinds of people. I'm not sure which I prefer. On the one hand, I get to hover merrily in my own little world, but on the other, there's a chance of meeting someone I may just like, as improbable as that might be. As it is, I still plan on blasting Beautiful Day on 19 November.

Speaking of plans, I still can't figure out which ISP to go with. Urrrgh. Stupid iiNet just had to decide to stop fast churns. If they were going to continue to participate in that post-12 July, I'd be churning my sorry self away from Dart as we speak. Internode's plans may be not quite as good, but they still leave me with fast churn and I feel comfortable with that. But in any case, I hope to change by the 5th of July, so that will explain things if I suddenly randomly vanish for a little bit.

Sigh. I have this terrible feeling these holidays are going to stink. I just feel bad. No particular reason; I just do. Do I need a reason?

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