March 2nd, 2008

Not an icon

The Bit Torrenters' Creed

As I am on the tired side of life, I thought that today I would simply share something from the "postwhore-a-thon" over on Interference, which has managed to exceed 15,000 posts in the space of a week. I'd like to record this here so that it doesn't just vanish into the mountain of posts over there. We had two topics of discussion going at the same time, one about theology and one about downloads. I happened to remark that "I might reconsider my stance on Christianity if you can get an ecumenical summit to elect bit torrent as the new God", and after major_panic replied that he would love to see what creed would be created to conform with such a move, I produced this revision of the Apostles' Creed. I don't know about you, but if you ask me, this is the sort of religion to suit our modern Internet age!

I believe in Bit Torrent, the downloader almighty,
Seeder of heaven and earth,
And in torrent trackers, its only distributor, our Lord,
Which were conceived by the power of the Internet,
Born of the virgin nerds,
Suffered under the RIAA,
Were banned, blocked, and sometimes arrested.
They descended into hell.
On the third day they rose again from being offline.
They ascended into heaven
and are seated at the left mouse button
of Bit Torrent, the downloader almighty.
From thence they shall come again to distribute the music and the movies.

I believe in the torrent protocal,
The holy torrent client,
The communion of seeders,
The forgiveness of leeching,
The resurrection of the dead torrent,
And the download everlasting.