August 19th, 2005

Axver For Dictator

André Axver, Worldwide Pop Star.

Cast your gaze upon the state of the popular music industry today. Abysmal, isn't it? Multitudes of people who can't really sing, who have songs written for them, who can't play an instrument, selling an image. All of those pesky Idol/Popstars contests that, just when you think they're gone, rear their ugly head again. People flaunting their bodies as a sales tool (to compensate for the fact their music isn't worth buying, I suppose; got to appeal to the masses somehow). Wannabe bands acting so "hardcore" but really just posing to sell a poor fake of what they wish they were.

Well, it's gotten to the point that I figure if I can't beat them, I might as well join them. Allow me to present to you ...

André Axver - Exit (Howling Wind Mix) [U2 cover] | Mirror, if necessary

I can't sing, I play the guitar terribly (not that I've figured out how to record the bloody thing), and I'm not even singing a song I wrote. Where's my record deal already?

Now, once I have my recording contract, I shall form André's Rocking Band and perform punk rock covers of such obvious selections as the Kiwi anthem God Defend New Zealand, U2's Promenade, and Mozart's Piano Concerto No. 20. I bet none of you can wait.