July 20th, 2005

Mofo

(no subject)

Newsflash! Axver has a new philosophy! It is: Life sucks, but at least the pay's good.

My job is incredibly dull and boring and I hate it already. Basically, what I do is call people and ask if they'd like to do a survey, and if they do, they get a free gift, a financial evaluation. If ten people accept the gift in a week, I get a bonus. In other words, I need to get two a day. Well, today, after my training, only ONE person even did the survey, and they didn't want the gift! Everyone else was out, having dinner, or not interested. At one point, I just wanted to give up and forget the whole silly job, but I discovered a trick - forget you're intelligent, stop thinking, and just work mechanically. Keep going. Oh, I hate doing that. Why didn't I get a job in a bookstore? I could at least take a book behind the counter with me. Oh, I remember: because the pay's really good here.

I'm trying to find ways to make it interesting - i.e. who will give me the best reaction of the day. Today brings two classics.

1. Not Everyone Is A Mindreader
Time: about 6:20pm
Me: Hello, is Mr or Mrs Whatever there?
Her: No, but this is Mrs Whatever-Something. [Yeah, fine, BE pedantical.]
Me: OK, hi, it's Me from A Research Company-
Her (aggressively): I'm right in the middle of making dinner. I'm really sick of you people calling at this time. Why do you always do that?
Thinking to myself: Because, of course, I know just when you'll have dinner, just like how I know the guy next door has it at 5pm and the family down the road have it at 7pm ...
Me: It's just the job. Have a good evening. *satisfying click*

2. Crabby Old Bitch
Background: this particular last name was spelt l-o-u-g-h. I've seen this pronounced as "loff", "loch", "louh", and a couple of other things in between. I decided to go with "lock".
Me: Hello, can I please speak to Mr or Mrs Lock?
Her: This is Mrs Loff. Thank God there is no longer a Mr Loff! That name is l-o-u-g-h, pronounced "loff". And if you are a telemarketer, please hang up now.
Me: Have a good evening. *even more satisfying click*
Me: (filling out sheet) Not! Interested! (to myself) In the truest sense of the word!

I don't know how I'm going to stick at this for months, but somehow I will, if for nothing else than the cash.

I'm now going to go read some Kierkegaard to help me feel intelligent again.