January 22nd, 2004

Amak Axver

(no subject)

Wake up!
The dawn of another dull day
Take up
Your dreams and on your way ...

The last few weeks have been a blur. It seriously still feels like January 9, and not because I've consistently been going through the same routine, because I haven't, though I have most of the time. Lately, everything has just blurred into this one day-long blur that is totally oblivious to the changing of dates, even though I have to accept the fact I'll be back at school soon.

The more I think about life and the more I feel unfulfilled, the more I realise just how much I love Ecclesiastes. That book's so true and if I was told I was only allowed to keep two books of the Bible, it'd be that and the Gospel of John. Maybe the last three chapters of Galatians as well, because they're so incredibly useful. But yes ... I could read and re-read Ecclesiastes. It almost sounds like something I could have written, just without the random tirades.

"There is nothing new under the sun ..."

Too damn right. It's all the same. The same asinine television programming, the same petty peer politics (though Burns IS an idiot), the same intolerable unfulfilling monotony ... about all that keeps me sane these days is my writing, U2, and my closest friends. My faith isn't even fulfilling me, though that's probably more a testament to its lack of strength than anything else. I need to work on that more, I need to work on a lot of things more, and I need to reduce my Internet addiction. It's not good. Now being online through the day, that's OK, but at night, I really should get off, watch some TV, do some writing. It can't be that hard. And when I go back to school, I'll have to figure out some other new schedule to keep me offline for realistic periods of time. Problem is, while the Internet isn't fulfilling, it's at least got an aspect of interest. Bleck.
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