December 2nd, 2003

Amak Axver

(no subject)

I've successfully wasted today so far. Well done, Andre.

Hey Mike, have I replied to the last e-mail you sent me or not? I honestly cannot remember.

I would like some thoughts on downloading programs such as WinMX. Is it OK? Ethically moral or wrong? I'd love to hear some new music, and I'm seriously thinking about downloading WinMX or a similar program onto my computer, but some stuff people have said lately has made me think a little so I'd like to hear some thoughts.

Ha, I love re-registering at boards that have banned me. These daft sods aren't going to know what's hit them.
  • Current Music
    'Cartoon World' by U2
Amak Axver

Silly teenage babble

From your knowledge of me - LJ, IM, e-mail, MBs - am I a cold, distant person?

I don't think I am. So why the hell do so many people I know personally think I am? How did that misperception get across? I simply don't understand it. Is it so startling that I can actually feel emotions such as friendship, compassion, love, and kindness? Am I really that distant, hidden behind some wall of academic, intellectual, blank ... something? It actually hurts to realise that most people I know personally have a complete misperception of me. I now find it no surprise or wonder that I have few friends, or never had a girlfriend, or feel out of place in any room I walk into. It's not like I'm trying to give a misperception. It's not like I wear a mask and put up a persona, trying to make myself appear as someone I'm not. How is it that most of my peers have done a fantastic job of completely not knowing who I am? Only four people in my grade really know me: Sam, Aaron, Jamie, and Tom (in order of how well, Aaron a distant second). The one girl I like - I acknowledged the fact of the matter today - probably doesn't have a clue about who I really am and just thinks I'm that academic debating fellow.

Then again, why should I EXPECT anyone to know much about me? I'm so shy that I really don't get out there. Maybe I shouldn't blame all this on other people not attempting to get to know me. I'd like to get to know some people better ... it'd just make life so much easier if THEY would approach ME first.

On another note, I spotted something ironic in a screen name. Someone's 'abbreviated' the word 'excuse' as 'X-cuse'. The stupid part of that is that it takes MORE letters to type 'X-cuse' than it does to type 'excuse'. Silly u-user.
  • Current Music
    'Walk On' by U2. U2 fans, spot the U2ness in my mood.