October 20th, 2003

Amak Axver

On eyesight and wanting to know what better sight is like

You know what's interesting? It hasn't been until very recently that I've ever truly desired to have better eyesight. I'm pretty close to legally blind - it's so bad I'll never drive, and there's nothing the doctor's can do to fix it - but I'd always been content with my eyesight. I didn't mind it at all, it was just how I could see and I never imagined any different. But now ... I really want to know what it's like to have normal - or even just better, not necessarily normal - sight. I've suddenly become curious as to how other people see. Until recently, I'd never really pondered on the idea that most everyone else sees differently to me - I saw how I saw, and I just assumed things were the same, or when I understood they weren't, it was just this passing thought I never dwelt upon. However, now that I HAVE thought about it, I want to know what normal eyesight is like. Do you people see things bigger? More detail? How can you possibly read what's written on a whiteboard fifteen metres away? How can you read the prices on signs behind counters at shops? How the Popmart do you do it? The one thing in the world that I find the most incredible is when people can read the whiteboard from the back of the classroom or whatever. I look at them in wonderment, because I cannot imagine it being done. Sometimes I can't even read it from the front row! (That's why I have a monocular - basically half a binocular) I'll walk around with my friends, and they'll point out stuff, and it'll just baffle me as to how they can see it. It's so amazing to me, it's like some kind of special trick or superhero ability or something.

I just wish there was some way that I could experience what normal sight is like. Not actually fix my eyesight, but just experience normal sight - a day, an hour, even a minute, just to experience it.

What I find funny is how my life is in my eyes - I couldn't enjoy my two passions, reading and writing, without being able to see - and yet my eyesight is so dodgy. Heh.
  • Current Music
    'Beat On The Brat (cover)' by U2
Amak Axver

Googlism fun, quotes, and other stuff

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So we didn't go looking for my new computer this afternoon. Mum's going to go down by herself on Wednesday afternoon ... or we might go after school. I'm not sure I want Mum running around doing it by herself, mainly because she's computer illiterate, and also it's going to be my computer so I don't want things to get muddled or to end up with something I don't want.

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--- 10:20pm ---

I am the King of Procrastionation. All weekend I've had schoolwork to do ... and I haven't done it. The only pressing matter is my speech competition speech. The first draft sounds good enough, and I'll finish it tomorrow.

Honestly, I don't really care though. Debating is where my passion is, not public speaking. The speech competition is so rigged (well debating at the high levels is biased towards inner-Brisbane schools too), and the adjudicators are crap. The people who we think shouldn't win always seem to win. For example, this one moron in 2001 who rambled on two and a half minutes over the time limit - which should've meant an instant loss - made it through to the next round, and I believe he actually went on to come third. Or when I made the final in 2000, one of the adjudicators came to me afterwards and said I should've won. Sam was there, and he said one of the other adjudicators had taken an instant dislike to me the second I had a satirical go at school principals, so that's probably why I lost. Some people have NO sense of humour.

And public speaking isn't exciting like debating is. There's no fun of the rebuttal ... it's all scripted and terribly rigged and I don't really care. I don't care if I come stone motherless last. I'm just going to go in there, do my rant on reality TV, and see where I end up. The only reason I really have to want to win is one-upmanship. Haha, I'd like to beat Natasha. She's won the public speaking awards lately, and I've won the debating ones. I don't suppose she'd like me taking the public speaking awards off her. It's all she ever wins lately. She was Dux until I came along (and now I'm not even Dux). In fact, speaking of Dux, allow me to make a selfish rant here. Chantelle won Dux last year instead of me, and I was cool with that - Chantelle's a really nice girl and she deserved it. She tries a heck of a lot harder than me, that's for sure. But this year, Mitch could win, and that would piss me right off. This absolute arsehole is acing everything relating to maths or physics, and it irks me. He won a scholarship to the university I want to go to in a maths competition earlier this year (which I also competed in). Sometimes, I don't understand why God gives gifts to some people (and I bet some people say the same in relation to me). And Mitch is best friends with Danny, who is the definition of a flaming moron. He makes me sick. He really does. Whereas Mitch could beat me any day in an arrogance or egotism war, Danny could beat ANYONE in a flaming moron war.

Bah. That's my rant. I'm tired and that's crappily worded. Oh well, I don't care, I'm going to bed.
  • Current Music
    'Stuck In A Moment You Can't Get Out Of' by U2