August 28th, 2003

Amak Axver

HATE

I just made an entry that talked about some important things I'd realised about myself today, but I just lost it. GRR. It was so ... something. So something. So needed. I'm so annoyed I lost it. Oh how stupid I am.

Let's try this again ...

At the leadership training day that I had today, I was prompted to evaluate my character. What I discovered, I did not like. I'm too arrogant, selfish, self-centred, over-ambitious, not kind (apart from to those I like), not forgiving or merciful or loving enough ... so many things wrong with me. I don't like what I see. I can't understand why anyone would like me. I'm loathesome, I really am.

So I need to fix this situation. But how? I'm so lost. I get angry with people, I'm impatient, and I can be too up myself at times. I don't know how to fix it. I try to calm down and bring myself down to earth, but always these feelings override my intentions. Can anyone help at all? I need suggestions, help ... I don't want to remain this loathesome, hate-filled, unlikeable person.
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    'I Will Follow (UABRS)' by U2