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August 27th, 2003 - Contradiction is balance. — LiveJournal [entries|archive|friends|userinfo]

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August 27th, 2003

(no subject) [27 August 2003|07:40 am]
[Current Mood |Rushed]
[Current Music |'The Electric Co. (UABRS)' by U2]

I should not be online. Should NOT. But I, in my great stupidity, forgot to send a file to myself at school for English last night. My printer at home is utter crap and smudges every second line so it's nearly illegible at times, so if I want to print this, I better send it to school.

Grr, I can't believe I forgot last night. I shouldn't even be posting this. I've got to be out the door in five minutes. I really hope I've managed to get everything ready and don't have to worry about anything but firing off that e-mail.
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How true [27 August 2003|04:50 pm]
[Current Mood |...]
[Current Music |'Staring At The Sun' by U2]

I'm not the only one
Staring at the sun
Afraid of you'll find
If you took a look inside
I'm not just deaf and dumb
Staring at the sun
I'm not the only one
Who's happy to go blind
- Staring At The Sun
, U2
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(no subject) [27 August 2003|05:01 pm]
[Current Mood |Good]
[Current Music |'Gone' by U2]

*kicks self* I am HOPELESS with remembering birthdays. Do NOT be offended if I forget your birthday because I'm terrible with birthdays. Gah. So many I've forgotten lately - Aaron, Shannon, Laura, Chantelle ... at this rate, I'll be forgetting mine soon enough.

During English, Matt 'Candidate For World's Most Annoying And Most Stupid Person' Marino was waving around his tennis racket, annoying the snot out of everyone, and so Tommo, my English teacher, challenged him to a tennis match at the end of class. So with 15 minutes to go until the bell, we headed outside to the tennis court and Matt and Tommo played the funniest game of tennis I've ever watched. You just had to be there. My English class rocks. If we don't cut Tommo's hair or play tennis or have an incredibly fun lesson, Tommo decides to propose an English class day of ten pin bowling. That would be grand fun. I love my English class.

On another note, tomorrow I will be at Bond Uni for some leadership course and going to bed early, because I plan on getting up at 5:30am on Friday (Yep, stupid 5:30am again). I'll be on at around 6am Friday morning (Sometime during Thursday afternoon/evening in the USA), and hopefully I'll be able to talk to some of you then. And at about 10am that day, I'll be going round to Sam's and we'll practice our English play.

Speaking of that, I made what is quite possibly one of my funniest typos ever. One of Sam's lines is SUPPOSED to be "Your mind will get you arrested", but I somehow typoed it as "Your wind will get you arrested." Very amusing indeed. I only picked up on it AFTER I printed it at school today ...

Speaking of printing, I need a new printer. I'm sick of having to print stuff at school.
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(no subject) [27 August 2003|05:10 pm]
[Current Mood |Amused]
[Current Music |'If You Wear That Velvet Dress' by U2]

Fun stuff.Collapse )

I can't believe I did that thing so many times ...
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Errors [27 August 2003|05:31 pm]
[Current Mood |Eh]
[Current Music |'Grace' by U2]

Why does LJ keep on giving me error messages today? It's quite infuriating.

In other news, my Dad sent me this e-mail about some virus thing. It may just be a hoax or nothing to worry about - I haven't yet been to any of the links in this - but I don't think Dad would pass on to me anything that he thinks is most likely a hoax. Although, then again ...Collapse )
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(no subject) [27 August 2003|07:39 pm]
[Current Mood |Amused by the MP scene]
[Current Music |'People Get Ready (bootleg)' by U2]

Heartland is such a beautiful song and I love it. Listen to it now. Download it. It's fantastic, truly. One of U2's best songs ever. I just can't believe that it was NEVER performed live. It probably wouldn't work now, but Bono's voice in 1987-89 was just perfect and they really should've performed this. Indeed, it's a true shame Bono's voice has had to undergo any natural change since the Joshua Tree/Lovetown heyday. Listen to JT/LT live recordings and it's just ... wow. Bad and With Or Without You on the Rattle And Hum video are mindblowing.

Seriously, the more I listen to U2, the more I like them. Their music to me is much more than music. I keep on meaning to write something about why they mean so much to me, and I have typed up some stuff, but I never seem to get around to finishing it. I need to get that done. Honestly, if they were just another band to me, I would not like them this much.

And now for some Monty Python. Just don't read this if you do not like swearing. This is the usages of the f-word scene.Collapse )
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(no subject) [27 August 2003|09:15 pm]
[Current Mood |Angry]
[Current Music |'October' by U2]

(Note: this entry will probably come back to haunt me, but I don't care right now. I've probably put my foot in a lot of things and made millions of stupid statements, but this is just not my night to care or be particularly nice)

Sam currently seems to be on this trip of being nice to people, even really repulsive people. I guess, in actuality, I probably should strive to follow in his footsteps ... but it pisses me off something fierce. He's going on about being nice, about being caring, not swearing, not making derogatory jokes, not insulting anyone, not doing anything that could be deemed as harsh, offensive, or otherwise unkind ... and it might be a good idea. But NO. I can't do it. I HATE Bible passages that tell us to love our enemies and always be kind. I have no problem in being kind to my friends and people I like - indeed, that's something I enjoy doing - but if I don't like someone, the last thing I want to be is nice and polite to them. I'd much rather tell them to go throw themselves off a cliff and rid the world of their obnoxious presence.

Alright, I just read some stupid thread on some MB that has really pissed me off, derailed my train of thought, and made me very angry. Read this at your own risk, for I need to vent anger and this is the best place to do so.Collapse ) Note that that outburst is not directed to anyone in particular but refers to a multitude of incidents that have happened lately; just this all came out after one specific incident got me quite mad but I couldn't express my anger in the location. I'm feeling a bit better now. I'm still angry, but not nearly as much.

Back to Sam's fad of niceness. Where was I up to? I don't care. There are some people I just don't want to be nice to. Indeed, at times, I can't be nice to them. If I don't express my anger to them then and there, it's going to fester inside of me and make me angry for the entire day. I'm not naturally a calm person unless I'm surrounded by people I like and having a good time. Take a former friend of mine as a case in point. His name is Ben and we had a big falling-out two and a half years ago, and thus I now cannot stand him. This useless bastard is apparently the model of the mythical good Christian, and I think some people think he oozes the love of God. What a pile of nonsense. He oozes that repulsive condescending 'Christian' love that makes me want to bash my head up against a brick wall. Whenever he talks to me, even just by saying "Hello Andre", it feels so condescending and repulsive and I want to spit in his face and then knock him out with a plank of wood. He makes me sick. I don't want to be nice to this guy. I don't care how I'm supposed to act. I don't care if the Bible tells me to be nice to him. I want to treat him how I want to treat him, and that's by dishing out the abuse he deserves.

Hang on ... this brings me to a problem. God, really, should hate and loathe humanity for all we've done against Him, for all the offenses we've done to Him. Every time we sin, it's like spitting in His face and we sin a lot. And yet ... yet, He still sent His Son to die for us, even for people who won't end up accepting Him. So ... if God can do it, why can't I? I don't accept the "I'm only human, I'm not perfect" argument, no matter how much I want to use it ... why must the Bible tell us to be nice? Some people I don't want to be nice to. Some people I would LIKE to see have their heads bashed in (and I'm sure they'd like to see the same of me, or hide such a feeling behind sickly 'Christian love'). I shouldn't feel that way ... shouldn't ... but I can't stop it.

I need an outlet for my anger. Something I can both verbally and physically abuse. Something I can yell at and something I can bash the crap out of. And the thing is, punching bags and stuff like that don't work because that's not the object of my hatred. I want to yell abuse at Matt Marino and bash HIM to a pulp because he's the one that annoys me. My heart's not in it when it's some bag. It doesn't work.

I hate having anger building up inside of me, because I wouldn't have a clue what to do with it that's constructive. I need something to do with it ... whether to just release it in a manner that doesn't harm anyone but makes me feel better, or to turn it to a constructive use, I don't know, but I need to do something with it. I can't just let it stay inside me.

I know. I'll listen to The Electric Co. (UABRS) by U2, and LOUD. That will hopefully make me feel better. It usually does.
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The Electric Co. [27 August 2003|09:24 pm]
[Current Mood |Not as angry as before]
[Current Music |'The Electric Co. (UABRS)' by U2]

The following song is FANTASTIC for anger. Listening to it just washes my anger away. It is MARVELLOUS. It makes me feel BETTER and I love it. I'm listening to it now ... I've never listened to a song on my computer with the volume so loud before. This better not damage my ears. But the volume is helping me feel better. The anger is just going.

The Electric Co. (UABRS)
By Bono Vox

Somebody cry, somebody cry, somebody cry
Well somebody try, somebody try, somebody try something quick
Don’t you look back, don’t you look back, don’t you look back
Well somebody cry, somebody cry, somebody cry
Well I can’t see why or
What for!
What for!
What for!

Break it up!

Boy, stupid boy
Don’t sit at the table
‘Til you’re able to
Toy, broken toy
You shout and shout
You’re inside out

‘Til you don’t know, Electric Co. (Electric Co.)
‘Til you don’t know (Electric Co.), Electric Co.


Red, running red
You play for real
The toy could feel
A hole in your head
You go in shock
You’re spoon-fed

‘Til you don’t know, Electric Co. (Electric Co.)
‘Til you don’t know (Electric Co.), Electric Co.

Break it up!
Hoo, hoo

I love the crowd …

Rip it up!

If you don’t know, Electric Co. (Electric Co.)
If you don’t know (Electric Co.), Electric Co.
If you don’t know, Electric Co. (Electric Co.)
If you don’t know (Electric Co.), Electric Co.!
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(no subject) [27 August 2003|10:14 pm]
[Current Mood |My eyes hurt]
[Current Music |Nothing at the moment]

My eyes hurt. Badly. I hope this is just tiredness.

Need sleep. Now.
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