August 26th, 2003

Amak Axver

To quote a Monty Python scene: [Use 'fuck' for] Dismissal: hide and go fuck yourself

Yes, that quote needs repeating. From a Monty Python scene detailing usages of the word 'fuck', "Dismissal: hide and go fuck yourself." That's classic, and also appropriate.

This is from


Ooo, pH34r 13.

Points: 73

I like the numbers seven and three, thus I like this number.

Highs: Friendly, once you get to know him. Good spelling.

Ironically enough, I was thinking today about how lots of people think I'm quite unfriendly and generally an annoying, aggressive person who you don't want to be around, but, once you get to know me, I'm actually quite nice and open and very friendly. And thank you for complimenting me on my spelling.

Lows: Inherits the English/Aussie/New Zealander sense of dry humor,

This is part of why I quoted "Hide and go fuck yourself", because the dry sense of humour is quite possibly the best known sense of humour there is. I couldn't live without it. Dry humour so dry it makes the Sahara Desert look like it's a water-filled lake is a blessing upon humanity and I heart it. How DARE you call it a low. It's a high if there ever was one. Hide, for you, self-appointed judger, have shamed yourself.

tries too hard to be a Sarah clone,

I have NEVER tried to be a Sarah clone. I am me, Andre, Axver, my own freaking person and I don't need to try to be a clone of anyone. Sure, maybe I use Sarah's euphemisms, but that's because I LIKE them and wish I'd come up with them myself.

hypocritical grammar,

What the Popmart are you going on about? I acknowledge, I once had a grammar problem because I was taught some messed up things, but it's nearly perfectly fine now - my only issue is occasionally messing up usage of apostrophes. Hypocritical, no. My grammar is far better than most of the grammar out there. Again, hide, for you have shamed yourself.

a bit on the high-and- mighty side.

That I concede to. But as I proclaimed yesterday during an argument at school, "I am always right. I don't care whether I actually am or not; I'm always right." How is THAT for arrogance? Nah, I don't mean that. Sure, I can be egotistical and arrogant at times, but you really can't use that against me. Bono, one of the greatest men of our time, also happens to be quite an egomaniac from time to time.

Doesn't know when to stop talking about U2.

There never is a time to stop talking about U2.

The Verdict: And all the children are above average.

What the zarking fardwarks?

Axver's 73 points may not seem much above Sketch's 68, but this does not betray the great difference between the two.

I don't really have a reply for this.

For some reason, Axver has decided to take the road less traveled.

It looked interesting.

He's got the English language mastered, except for a glitch occasionally.

1. We all make typos or minor slip-ups.

2. I come from a slightly different system, so even to exclude some messed up stuff I was taught, you have to expect some differences.

However, he would be much more appealing if he stopped being so much like Sarah, and went back to being his own person. When he gets around to turning the page, we'll be ready.

Get off that crack. It's bad for you.

Arsehole. That Monty Python quote is so very appropriate.
  • Current Music
    'Numb' by U2
Amak Axver

(no subject)

I have too much work tonight. Copy out heaps of History stuff, write out some long, insightful Geography answer, type up English (done), some more History stuff, and hopefully start on my Study Of Religion assignment. I hope that's all ... oh wait, some Maths B homework on logarithms. Grr, I hate work.
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    M*A*S*H is on TV
Amak Axver

Good quote

"Are we running a hospital or a hotel for visiting demigods?" - Captain Benjamin Franklin 'Hawkeye' Pierce (Alan Alda)

That quote just came on TV, and it really cracks me up ...
  • Current Music
    M*A*S*H on TV
Amak Axver

Random letters are fun - gahdrws

That was quite possibly the stupidest idea for a subject line in ... EVER, but I don't care because I am in the weirdest mood known to mankind ... no, wait, just bored.

I just did an hour of homework, round abouts. I have not done this much homework in so long it's not funny, and it was torment. How do people with lots of homework cope? It's so mind-dullingly BORING that mere words cannot describe the stupidity and sheer repulsion of it all. So now the desire I had to do my work and do well has completely evaporated and I'm going to do something interesting. History can take a hike and geography can throw itself in a river. I did, however, realise I needn't worry about doing my Maths B homework - I don't have Maths B tomorrow, I won't be at school on Thursday but at the leadership day thing at Bond Uni, and Friday is a public holiday! Thank God for Gold Coast Show Day. BUT, GCSD poses one problem - I miss my Friday SOR lesson, which I really need. Hopefully I'll be able to ask Jonno tomorrow for a bit of help with finding sources for my assignment. I have to write an essay on why European settlers in Australia did not acknowledge the Aborigines as having a religion. I have information about Aboriginal religion, I know about European religion (and should be able to find adequate sources to include in my bibliography), but I don't have any quotes or statements by settlers in regards to why the Aborigines, in their opinion, don't have a religion, and whenever I search on Google or wherever, it just comes up with a whole pile of junk and nothing that helps me at all. Oh, and this assignment happens to be due on September the 8th, and I haven't written a thing down yet. I should've started it by now. And I also have an English play to memorise lines for (which also must be done by the 8th). Grr, where did all this work suddenly spring from?

Just to make things worse, it's Father's Day on the 7th of September and my Mum's birthday on the 3rd. This is TERRIBLE. My Dad is IMPOSSIBLE to buy presents for, especially when I have to post it to NZ and don't have the money to pay exorbitant postal charges, especially when I don't have the money to buy a present in the first place. Mum says she doesn't care if I don't get her anything for her birthday - but I WILL get her something - but if I don't get Dad anything, not only will he be disappointed, but Jane, the woman he lives with, will never let me forget it. She is such a malicious bitch of a cow. I HATE that woman. I sincerely am not looking forward to her death, though, because my happiness would really hurt Dad and I don't want to do that (although I may contemplate flying to NZ to go to the funeral, just so I can dance on her grave afterwards). You'd never guess I loathe her, would you? I probably shouldn't feel this way - and I bet anyone reading this is gasping in shock at my heartlessness or at least repulsed by my attitude - but this woman is quite possibly the worst person I have ever had the dubious pleasure of meeting ... maybe even worse than Lily and Princess.

Getting off the topic of cow-made-woman, Monty Python is utterly fantastic and I must get Sam to put a copy of the 'uses of the f-word' scene on a CD for me. That is CLASSIC. As is the scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail when they come to the French castle. "I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hampster and your father smelled of elderberries! Now go away before I taunt you for a second time!" Gets me every time ...

Also, I'm completely restarting my story. For those of you who have read it, you may suddenly be demanding "Why?" and making some statement claiming it's fantastic or whatever. Well, basically, the entire plot does NOT work. The raft which the plot desperately needs cannot be pulled by horses because (a) the task required is too taxing, (b) it means the distances in the story are too short, and (c) I don't know enough about horses. Without the horses, the raft can't get back up the river, so that really ruins things. So now I'm going to use an actual boat, which won't require nearly as much research or knowledge, and will allow the distances to be more realistic. Also, the start is way too unrealistic and a simple revision just won't fix it adequately, so I must restart. I'm very disappointed in this, but excited at the same time. And I still will be able to use chunks of what I have, like the first few pages probably don't need to be changed at all, and scenes in the town of Estuary (which, off memory, involve more than four chapters) and the last few chapters can probably remain the same or have only slight modifications. I hate to cut out the horses - especially Hurricane, one of my favourite characters (even if he is only a horse) - but it has to be done. I will keep them at the start in a more minor position, but their pivotal role is completely unviable.

The good part about this restart is that I'm not modifying the plot, or at least not extremely. The last time I restarted, there were significant plot changes. The basic premise this time remains the same - three teenagers end up in the middle of a massive terrorist plot and there are lots of explosions and all kinds of other fun stuff (no, really, three teenagers think they're off on a pleasant holiday and (along with some others they meet) end up getting caught up in a massive terrorist plot that includes them as targets to satisfy the desire for revenge of one man). However, the mode of transportation has been completely changed, meaning some scenes will have to be completely cut (such as a horse race that ends in one character breaking his leg - a scene I was contemplating removing anyhow), and others will have to be modified, and I will also refine the terrorist's aims. I fear the plot may be a bit too complex (and when simplified as I have done above, makes it sound stupid and doesn't do it justice), but that's the risk I take.

On a completely different topic, I have become completely disillusioned with television of late. There's barely anything on it that interests me. It's just so boring to me, and there's hardly anything worth wasting my time on. Although I did watch Today Tonight (an Australian current affairs show) tonight, and Shane Warne seems to be in one scandal after another. You Americans have probably never heard of Shane Warne, so I'll explain. Warne is one of the greatest cricket spin bowlers ever (in my opinion, only a few, such as Muttiah Muralitharan of Sri Lanka, are better), and people on TV are going as far as calling him the best ever (although Glenn McGrath of Australia and Sir Richard Hadlee of New Zealand - both pace bowlers - are much better). But, off the cricket field, Warne creates scandal after scandal, such as selling cricket pitch reports for money, quitting smoking and then bashing a Kiwi teenager for catching - and photographing - him lighting up, making lewd and obscene phone calls to an English nurse, and, earlier this year he was banned from cricket for a year for taking steroids. But now ... it's gotten even worse. There was first a controversy over some sexually explicit text messages with a South African woman, and now a Melbourne stripper has come out and claimed Shane Warne had a relationship with her that went as far as sex (note at this point that Warne is married and has children) and a lie detector test confirmed this. It's getting ridiculous. The good name of cricket - specifically Australian cricket - is being ruined by Warne and his off-field antics. If I were on the Australian Cricket Board (ACB), I'd drop him straight away. It doesn't matter who he is, he should be gone. Indeed, the only reason he isn't gone is because he's Shane Warne, one of the best spin bowlers ever. But if he continues to act like such a stupid moron, he should be done away with. I'm sick of hearing "New Shane Warne scandal!" It's ridiculous. Warney, get out of the public eye and try, hard as it may be, to be loyal to your wife and be a good father to your kids.
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