August 23rd, 2003

Amak Axver

Alright, so I'm officially stupid. What's new?

Yesterday, I was tired. Very tired. So I decided I'd take a bit of a nap at around 7pm, sleep for an hour, and then watch Inspector Rex (a great Austrian police show (in German) based around a police dog named Rex) and get online. But when I woke up just before 8:30pm - just before Rex was about to begin - I decided I liked this idea of sleep and went back to sleep. I then woke up at 10pm and went back to sleep again. And now it's nearly 6am and I've had one of the best sleeps of my life, and also one of the most disturbed, because, as I got less and less tired, I woke up more and more, thanks to the hum of my computer and my screen saver going. Now, I still feel tired, but it's like that refreshed tired, if that makes any sense.

And now I'm up at nearly 6am, and I feel like I should be going to the airport because it really feels like 5am, and the only time I'm ever up at a stupid hour like this is when I'm going to the airport.

On a completely random note, I was thinking about all these online quizzes people do, how you randomly hear about them from someone else's LJ, do it, usually have a laugh at the result, watch as all your friends do it, and then forget about it. Now THAT is what I call way-too-early-in-the-morning thinking. Bugger pondering the meaning of life. LET'S PONDER THE MEANING OF ONLINE QUIZZES!

And why is it that my computer takes forever to connect to the Internet at freaking 6am? I very much doubt many other people are trying to get online at this time. So it's definitely a problem with my computer and/or most likely modem. So why is it that some days I connect almost straight away? Geez I can't wait to get broadband.

Hey! Being up this early means I can watch the top 50 music videos thing they have on Saturday mornings here in Australia. It is Saturday, isn't it? I feel so lost and out of the loop seeing there's not much of a Friday night to recall. I used to get up early every Saturday to watch the top 50 when I was like eleven or twelve for some strange reason, but now, as I've gotten older, I've completely neglected it for the sake of sleep. Now I think I shall watch it, for old time's sake if for nothing else. Shame there won't be any U2, but you never know what else might be on there. Knowing my luck, most of the songs will be rap - shuddervomitdie - but at least there won't be any country and, if I'm lucky, there may be some rock.

Also, early morning TV has always been something that's amused me, even if I rarely get to see it. There's usually those weird "Hallelujah praise the Lord for our fraudulent miracles and babbling passed off as tongues" shows, a strange documentary and/or informercial for a product no-one should've ever thought up, let alone actually wanted, and, if you're lucky, you may come across some American current affairs show that's about a month or two past its use-by date.

And when you have music videos on the lowest volume your TV has to avoid waking anyone up, it's remarkable how your typing sounds louder than it (probably because it is). On this basis alone, I would see fit to turn my TV up, but I'm not going to, because they just put some rap - shuddervomitdie - on, and this is some exceptionally BAD rap. Now no offense to anyone who likes rap, but I can't stand it. Correction: I can't stand MOST of it. There is that occasional track that I won't mind, but most of it I simply cannot stand. I can't see much talent - let alone music talent - in it, and the backing music, it's like there's five different tracks at the studio they can choose from when making their 'song', and, if they're feeling imaginative, they may mix one or two of them together and hope it sounds good (which it rarely does). And even the music video scenes are the same! Yes, seriously. I just saw some music video for I-have-no-idea-who, and now this Mary J. Blige (or whatever her name is) video came on, and it's set in EXACTLY the same location! Good MacPhisto, people, be a bit more imaginative! Or would that be too hard? Your lyrics are often similar, your beats certainly are, you generally have little talent to speak of ... so why should I be surprised when you use the same location for your videos?

Grr, doesn't this song ever end? It's AWFUL. Even for rap. *needs U2*

Hey, it's finally starting to feel more like 6am - perhaps because it is - the sun's actually starting to come out. Wow ... I've always loved the early morning sky. I can still remember watching the sun rise at Wellington Airport just before my 14th birthday. Hmm, random memory. Fascinating.
  • Current Music
    Some remix of David Bowie's 'We Could Be Heroes' on TV
Amak Axver

(no subject)

My LiveJournal Sitcom
Axver's Life (NBC, 11:00): Axver (Beverley Mitchell) makes fun of skiplively (Malcolm Gets) for enjoying continental drift. Soon afterwards, light_so_bright (Rick Yune) unknowingly gets high before a meeting with deadlydenial (Ray Liotta). That night, zhericbevin (Jeremy Irons) convinces kelseynicole (Steve Martin) to buy a beef jerky. The next day, comedicsketch (Andrea Parker) gets in trouble with the law when saintcheney (Samuel L. Jackson) discusses pocketknifes with an undercover cop. Meanwhile, dreamsighted (Rob Lowe) trades notepads with darthernie (Chris Farley). (Season finale.)
What's Your LiveJournal Sitcom? (by rfreebern)
  • Current Music
    Something on the music videos ...
Amak Axver

(no subject)

Part of a conversation with Burns ...

Everything you know is wrong [me] says:
But I need a job ...
Everything you know is wrong says:
My only problem is that I won't work Sundays.
Burnzey says [Burns]:
Heres what you should have said

"Oh, joy ... I get too much money"
Burnzey says:
Why not on Sunday?
Everything you know is wrong says:
My excuse is religious reasons, but it's really because I'm lazy and want a day off. And also religious reasons.
Burnzey says:
LOL
Everything you know is wrong says:
Seriously, I am NOT doing five days of school and then two days of work, with no break at all.
Burnzey says:
Get used to it, mate. Thats life
Everything you know is wrong says:
No, it is NOT life. It can't be. Life is not about work. You HAVE to have a rest sometime.
Burnzey says:
Im not totally used to it, but i'm getting there
Everything you know is wrong says:
Everyone should have one day off a week. Shit, even God took a day off to rest.
Burnzey says:
My rest is "after school" and on the parts of the weekend where I don't work
Everything you know is wrong says:
Well, that was for humanity ... if anything, that proves my point even more. We're MEANT to have a day off.
  • Current Music
    'Unwell' by Matchbox 20 on TV
Amak Axver

Checkers

Me and Lauren light_so_bright are having an argument. So please answer this question;

Should checkers (draughts) pieces be white and black or red and black? I say the former, she says the latter.
  • Current Music
    Why isn't anything on?
Amak Axver

USELESS FREAKING MSN!

I'm trying to talk on MSN, but I simply cannot. Every time I say something, I just get "The following message could not be sent to all recipients", and it's bloody infuriating. AIM's working perfectly fine, but not MSN. It's driving me up the wall. To quote Bono at the start of Hold Me, Thrill Me, Kiss Me, Kill Me (Live from Popmart Mexico City), "Fuck this!"

Plus, my Internet should've cut out nearly 3 hours ago. Go me.
  • Current Music
    Nothing right now. Must put Electric Co. on ...
Amak Axver

How sad

I've been online for 9 hours and 26 minutes. How sad. Did somebody say "Internet addict"?
  • Current Music
    '11 O'clock Tick Tock (bootleg)' by U2
Amak Axver

No, no, leave me alone

Why must Sam want to come around tomorrow? How am I supposed to tell him not to? He'll need a reason, and "I don't want you to" isn't a reason I can give him. It's just that I want to spend MY weekend by MYSELF, ALONE. I LIKE being alone. Is that such a crime? If it is, I don't give a rat's blue anus. I couldn't care less. I like being by myself. I've seen Sam five days in a row at school. We hang around at lunch time. When he comes round, sooner or later things get boring because it quite simply is boring at my house (and the same applies to his house). When he comes around, I can't go online - and remember here I'm addicted to the Internet (honestly, I fear I'm serious when I say that, and that truly scares me) - and we generally end up quite bored anyhow. Maybe things will be better come November, when I - hopefully - will get a new computer, can link it up to my current one, and play multiplayer games or something similar to keep us occupied.

Isn't it sad? Am I the only person who finds hanging around with friends BORING? There's nothing to discuss, we never think of anything imaginative to do, I get bored fast, and I know they do to. It's STUPID. When you're with friends, you're supposed to have FUN, not be BORED. When Sam tells me what he does around at Tom's house, it sounds very FUN. But around at my house ... it's boring as all blades of grass. Indeed, blades of grass are more exciting because you can actually rip them out of the ground, rip them apart, and do all kinds of stupid and childish things to them like putting them in other people's hair.

See, this is probably part of the reason why I've become an Internet addict, because everything else is BORING. I guess the problem with me and my friends is that we've been in such close contact for the last 3-4 years that we don't have anything new to talk about, and ... I know what it is. I'm too serious. No, wait, no I'm not. I can be fun - even funny - it's just that I'm not into building longbows, don't have the room or the ride-on lawnmowers to race lawnmowers, and no-one else I know cares to watch U2 videos or discuss interesting stuff, like the stupidity of bombing the UN Embassy in Iraq or theology. I don't want to discuss the latest shitty movie - currently, the latest shitty movie is American Pie 3, which I'm NOT going to see - I don't want to discuss the latest shitty fad - the Happy Tree Friends are disgusting and violent, even if there is elements of humour, and I want to know why you'd waste time or download limit on them - I don't want to discuss computer games, because I don't really care for them (and I wish Sam would stop telling me to use a first person shooter as an outlet for my anger because, of all computer games, first person shooters are one of the genres I like the LEAST), and I don't want to discuss any of their other interests. I'm not interested in cars like Hamilton and Grant are, I'm not interested in the computer games Patrick's interested in, I'm not interested in Sam's latest project (be it Lego train making (actually, I'm interested in this because it involves TRAINS), constructing a longbow, or building and launching rockets, or whatever), I'm not interested in whatever rubbish Aaron has to talk about (that guy has problems, seriously ... I like him, but ...), I'm not interested in ... sheesh, am I not interested in ANYTHING my friends are interested in? What's wrong with me? More precisely, why do I have friends who I don't have common interests with? Or, even more precisely, why is it that I USED to fit in with them, used to enjoy their company, but have now drifted away?

I don't understand it. I truly don't. I should WANT them to come around. I should gladly want to drop everything and hang around with them - and there was once a time when that was true - but now ... I don't want to and I don't understand. I want to want to, if that makes any sense, but I DON'T.

--- ABOUT AN HOUR LATER ---


Sam just phoned, and we actually had a constructive conversation. Maybe my previous thoughts are unwarranted and everything's getting back on track. I think I'll get him to come around next weekend. I need tomorrow to rest. I would like to get back to the point of wanting to hang round with my friends ... I think the thing is that when I am around my friends, there's usually other people around that I don't want to be around. I like my Mum and all, but I don't feel I can hold a proper conversation with my friends when she's around. We can't talk about everything. Not because there's anything I want to hide ... I honestly don't know why. It's just ... an intruding factor. It's like when I'm talking with my Mum, I'd rather my friends aren't around. Works both ways, really. I guess that's why I like IMs, because they ARE private conversations and someone else can't just overhear it.

I was going to put some more of my CDs (non-U2 CDs, no less) onto my hard drive. May still do it eventually. But I plan on another early night tonight. Before 9:30pm, hopefully. I don't know if I'll be up as early tomorrow morning.

By the way, October by U2 is really lovely, soothing song. I <3 it.
  • Current Music
    October by U2
Amak Axver

I love this thing. Love.

My LiveJournal Sitcom
Bringing Up ducks (NBC, 11:00): Axver (Beverley Mitchell) thinks zhericbevin (Jeremy Irons) has a Brooklyn accent. Later, safeami (Shirley Temple) draws a picture on u2 (George Clooney)'s forehead. At the same time, ytfarmy (Vanessa Williams) makes dreamingsunset (Meryl Streep) look stupid in front of a large crowd at an alley. Then, light_so_bright (Rick Yune) buys skiplively (Malcolm Gets)'s old bicycle. That night, comedicsketch (Andrea Parker) bakes 500 cookies for a bake sale, but deadlydenial (Ray Liotta) eats them all. TV-G.
What's Your LiveJournal Sitcom? (by rfreebern)
  • Current Music
    Where's my music?
Amak Axver

(no subject)

MSN - hate. I can play games on it, but nothing else. Occasionally a comment will make it to whoever I'm talking to, but very rarely. Please stick to AIM, folks. I'll be signed in sometimes, but only to play games against people. Odds are I won't be able to talk to you.

Some chess thing me and comedicsketch are trying - hate. It makes no sense.

Sleep - like. I'm going to bed soon. Maybe get up insanely early again.

Windows Media Player - love it the more I use it. Ah ... saving CDs onto my hard drive is grand.

Teenyboppers - hate, but they're fun to annoy. I may go talk to that moron Aly's been posting conversations with, just for a laugh.
  • Current Music
    Why is there still no music on?