August 7th, 2003

Amak Axver

Something I typed out last night

Subject: Debating

I’m typing this quickly tonight – I don’t have time to get online – and I’m going to post it tomorrow. I need to vent how I feel. We just lost our debate, and we’re out of the competition. Everyone’s saying how close a debate it was, how good the competition was, a couple of people are saying we should’ve won or that the adjudicator was inconsistent, some are saying how flawed the opposition’s case was … but, honestly, I think it was my fault we lost. Don’t tell me how great a debater I am. I don’t want to hear it, whether it’s true or not. When I was up there speaking, I got lost – no-one could tell, but I was lost – I felt very repetitive, my summary of Heidi and Natasha’s speeches was CRAP, my structure wasn’t good enough … I feel like I lost the debate. Don’t tell me how good I am, because I don’t need to hear it. I’ve tried to say how crap I was, but everyone just tells me I did a good job and say I’m really good. What the Popmart? My speech was frigging terrible. I was an embarrassment. It’s the worst speech I’ve done in ages. I don’t want to hear about how skilled I am. I don’t care if you honestly believe I was magnificent; it’s not what I need to hear right now. I need … I don’t know what I need to hear, to be honest. I don’t want to be told I’m crap, because I’m already telling myself that and it’s bad enough hearing it from me already, I don’t want to be told that I did a good job, and I don’t need to be told what I need to work on because I already know what I stuffed up and I think I know how to fix it. I don’t know what I need to hear. Just we lost, and that’s that. There is no more. Debating is over for another year.

Mood: Disappointed
Music: ‘With Or Without You (RAH live)’ by U2
Amak Axver

Today (such an imaginative subject line, I know)

Well, I lost the debate, and I'm still disappointed about that, but that's the way things go. What I hate, though, is people trying to say we should've won. I don't think my performance deserved a victory, and whether we should've won or not doesn't freaking matter: WE LOST, and that's that. No matter how much you rant about how biased towards inner-Brisbane schools the competition is (and it's very biased), no matter how much you insult the adjudicator, no matter how much you try to talk us up, it doesn't change the fact we've lost. I don't want to hear "You should've won". I just don't.

I'm still feeling ill. I have some medication that's done wonders, but I couldn't take it to school so now I'm feeling a bit worse than I did this morning. If I'm still like this when Mum gets back on Tuesday, I'm going to the doctors. I thought this was just one of those winter colds that comes and goes, but the way it's just clinging on, well, I'm starting to think maybe I should go to the doctors and see if it's something else. Better to be safe than sorry, I guess.

And today's date shall go down in history as the funniest day at school I've ever had. In English class, we cut my English teacher's hair! Not only that, but it looked AWFUL! Oh my bob, you just had to be there, it was so hilarious. At the start of the lesson, somehow we got onto talking about hair and that my teacher wanted a bit of a mullet, and he said that if we were good, he'd let us cut his hair on the top to improve the mullet or whatever. Well, the prospect of cutting his hair was just too good an opportunity to pass up, so we were very good all lesson, and he lived up to his promise, and let us cut his hair! Oh my Zooropa, it was so funny. Just typing it out makes me laugh. I wish you all could've been there. I guess it doesn't sound tremendously funny here, and was one of those "You had to be there" moments.

So yes, that's about it for now. M*A*S*H will be on soon.
  • Current Music
    'New Years Day (UABRS)' by U2
Amak Axver

The Amrozi verdict

For those who don't know, Amrozi was one of those involved in the bombing of the Sari nightclub and Paddy's bar in Bali, Indonedia, on October 12 last year. This bombing resulted in 202 deaths, including that of 88 Australians.

I am currently watching the news, waiting for news of his verdict. Apparently, early reports say he's been sentenced guilty, but these are unconfirmed. I hope he's found guilty and sentenced to death. The bastard is ... no words can describe how much I hate this pathetic fuckwit. He's completely unrepentant, he smiles and laughs ... it's just awful. The bastard should rot.

Oh well, I have to go, and no verdict yet. I'll have to wait and see ...
  • Current Music
    The TV's on
Amak Axver

Funny MB

For some reason, I find this MB - - very amusing. Some of the people there are rather funny in their stupidity, teenybopperishness, or Christian bubblistic nature. And the administration hate me, seeing I'm such a shit-stirrer on there at times, or at least to them I am. If they had administrated YTF, half of the topics would've been deleted and most of us regulars would've been banned.

So yes, just thought I'd mention that before I go to bed. I've been posting on there all night, and laughing a bit, too.
  • Current Music
    'Gloria (UABRS)' by U2