July 12th, 2003

Amak Axver


  • Current Music
    'Out Of Control' by U2 (How appropriate ...)
Amak Axver

Grr ...

I'm so nervous about meeting Lily. Not nervous as in the good nervous, but nervous because I fear that she isn't real, that everything will go crap, and stuff like that. I don't want to meet her. I'm wasting my time and I don't want to go. But I want to know if she's real, and ... yeah. Maybe I'll have to be blunt with her. Only problem is, a few of the members of her tour group will be coming with her. THAT REALLY PISSES ME OFF. It compromises my safety ... and I just don't like meeting lots of people I don't want to meet all at once.

Good Zooropa, this is going to suck so badly. I'm waiting for her to call, and I hate this waiting. Maybe her tour bus will crash ... no, Andre, don't think that, you shouldn't think that. That's VERY wrong of me to even think that ... but it's just I'm feeling so many emotions - none of them good - the worry and torment has deprived me of sleep, she's ruining my holidays, and right now I can't stnad her and don't want to meet her. I feel sick in the stomach.

Why the fuck did I ever get into a relationship with her? Look what she's doing to me! Why didn't I listen when I was told she would only cause me problems? Why the fuck didn't I listen? Why the fuck did I ignore people who KNEW HER and just went off doing my own thing. I was so fucking ignorant. Sorry for the language, but ... nothing can describe how I feel. Even 'fuck' feels weak.

I just ... hate this. I hate the fact I ever got into a relationship with Lily, because look where it's got me! Good bob I do stupid things at times.
  • Current Music
    'The Electric Co. (Boy CD version)' by U2
Amak Axver

OK, I admit it, I'm obsessed with quizzes

You are Princess Anne!
Buon Giorno Principessa! You're Princess Anne from
Roman Holiday. You're sweet and naive about
many things, but you have a strong sense of
duty. You also have an independent streak and
you love to have fun when you can. You somehow
always manage to get yourself out of trouble.

Which Audrey Hepburn Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

I don't even know why I'm putting this one up, but, hey, I'm addicted to the things, and they're fun, so ...
  • Current Music
    'Twilight' by U2
Amak Axver

It was the voodoo!

Yes, I have a voodoo doll, I was poking needles into its toes, and so my Mum went and broke her toe!

No, just kidding. Apart from my Mum breaking her toe. Earlier today, she was going up this stone step we have in our house, when she hit her toe on it, and there was this tremendous crack that I heard from my room! So she's trying to be brave and act like it doesn't hurt too much, but I can tell it's just an act. I'm trying to make her lie down - it's really bad, because she can't put shoes on or anything - but she keeps on getting up. It's not going to get better if she keeps on putting pressure on it!

So, anyhow, what this leads to is I'm NOT meeting Lily, or at least not today. Mum can't walk or drive, and no-one else can take me (don't say the train because Mum would have to drive me to the station anyhow). She will be down on the Gold Coast in a few days, though, so hopefully I'll be able to meet her then. Well, I don't want to meet her, but I say 'hopefully' because then I'll be able to find out she's real, and deliver some parcel thing to her that Burns wants me to give her.

Now my day is a lot better with no Lily to worry about, and now I'll only be meeting her for a very short time! w00t!
  • Current Music
    'Into The Heart' by U2
Amak Axver

In the locust wind, comes a rattle and hum ...

In the howling wind
Comes a stinging rain
See them driving nails
Into the souls on the tree of pain
From the firefly
A red orange glow
See the face of fear
Running scared in the valley below

Bullet the blue sky
Bullet the blue sky
Bullet the blue
Bullet the blue

In the locust wind
Comes a rattle and hum
Jacob wrestled the angel
And the angel was overcome
You plant a demon seed
You raise a flower of fire
See them burning crosses
See the flames higher and higher

Bullet the blue sky
Bullet the blue sky
Bullet the blue
Bullet the blue

Alright, that's enough. I LOVE Bullet The Blue Sky. It's not my favourite song - no, that's more like Bad or Gloria - and it's not even in my U2 Top 20 (it's at about 30, I think), but I LOVE the song. The guitar in it is stunning - in this song, one review said Edge resembles Hendrix - Bono's vocals in the Rattle And Hum video and CD version are amazing, and Larry really shines on the drums in this. I can listen to this song in any mood and I feel good - when I'm happy, it makes me feel better, when I'm angry, I can vent by belting this song out, when I'm sad, the marvellous guitar is a distraction ... it's just a good song. Oh, and now Heartland is on - this is beautiful. Download it. DOWNLOAD IT NOW.

Alright, getting off U2 and my disturbing fanaticism. I bet I know just what Lily is thinking: I'm not real because I didn't meet her this afternoon. Well Mum broke her toe! She can't bloody drive an hour up to Brisbane with a broken toe and then walk to some cafe for about five minutes and then go back again, can she? And there's no other way for me to get up there. Well, maybe one or two people MIGHT have been available (which is unlikely), but are they really going to drive me up to Brisbane? Heck no! So Lily's probably sitting back coming up with some delusion about me not being real. She's putting up some stupid ignorant whinge about she'll be too busy to meet me when she's down on the Gold Coast in a few days, but I think that argument is pure bullshit. Seriously, you cannot be THAT busy, you CANNOT BE. Honestly, at night, you're going back to the hotel, aren't you? Hmmm, there's time there. Or what about in the morning, for a breakfast at like 8am? Hmm, methinks Lily is just being stupid. I finally managed to make her see logic by telling her she'd have at least five minutes free for me to just drop by her hotel. So I WILL be seeing her. If you want to pass on a message to her, just type it up, send it to my e-mail (as an actual e-mail, not an attachment), or post it as a comment to this, and I'll print it off and give it to her. I'm passing on some package already so it's no trouble. But no verbal messages, it has to be written. And once I've meet her, I'll report every detail of the meeting and post it here. It'll be the most in-depth commentary of 5 minutes you've ever read (as long as my memory holds up). Now she's supposed to be ringing me, but Trudy's on the phone (Trudy being Mum's friend who's boarding with us temporarily), so the stupid girl probably isn't intelligent enough to call my mobile, even though she has my number! Although my mobile has been playing up lately, so ...

Blasted mobiles. They're convenient when I need to phone someone to pick me up from, say, the movies, or when I need to send Mum a text message to get something from the shops while she's out, but they're a bloody hassle at times. They run out of power, or they have no reception, or they don't receive calls properly, or they cut out for no apparent reason, or they do something else STUPID. But even for all their faults, I need a mobile, just for the convenience. What I truly don't get, though, is these teenagers they have on current affairs programmes every once in a while. "Gasp! This 14 year old racked up a TWO THOUSAND DOLLAR mobile phone bill! Gasp more! This 17 year old had to sell her car to pay for her FIVE THOUSAND DOLLAR mobile bill! Gasp even more! This boy nearly sent his parents broke with his bill! Gasp, gasp!" How the flipping Zooropa case do these people spend so much? I can't even use up all the credit I have per month! My Mum uses my phone from time to time to use up some of the credit! When I had $50 of prepaid credit, it took me half a bloody year to use it! I know people who'd use that in a month, and I just don't get it. Have these people heard of a landline? I want to know what goes on in their heads. You're at home, and you can choose between the landline, which is cheaper, or the mobile, which is more expensive. Why the orange MacPhisto would you use the mobile? Why don't you just go BURN your money? Isn't it logical that if you have a cheaper alternative to the mobile - the landline - you'd use it? Obviously I'm too logical.

My Mum and Trudy are always telling me I'm far too logical, simply over the way I react to one ad on TV. Here's how the ad basically goes;

"Travelling at 60 kilometres an hour (km/h), this car takes this long to stop. *a cardboard outline of a human pops up in the middle of the road it's going down, the driver slams on the brakes, and stops short of hitting the 'person'* At 65km/h, this car takes this long to stop. *'person' pops up, driver hits the brakes, comes to a stop, but hits the 'person' so that they're leaning back a bit* At 70km/h, this car takes this long to stop. *'person' pops up, driver hits the brakes, but, before stopping, well and truly takes out the 'person'*" And then there's some sentence that I forget, about sticking to the speed limit and speeding being deadly.

But hang on a minute! If the driver was going at 65km/h, they would've passed through the location a couple of minutes before the person had even appeared in the road and there'd be no worries! At 70km/h, they would've well and truly come and gone before the person gets onto the road! So, thus, the ad is self-defeating, because, when you look at it that way, you'll have passed through the area long before the person appears, so you better speed! Although, according to Trudy and Mum, most people are not intelligent enough to figure that out and so the ad is fine. I personally think it's the glaring obvious. The ad with the child running out to get the ball was even worse. The one I just described more shows stopping distance than anything, but the one they ran before it (and will probably bring back in a few months, when they think most people have forgotten it), involved a specific situation of a child running onto the road to get a ball. That was a true shocker, because if the car had been going faster, it DEFINITELY would've come and gone before the ball went onto the road. That ad truly made no impact at all once you analysed it.

Hehe, I think it's funny I can go from complaining about Lily through to whinging about illogical ads. I am a strange person. I regularly go off on tangents. Maybe I should write a book about it and go off on a tangent in there. That should be fun.

Oh yes, Lauren, light_so_bright, is off on holiday tomorrow I believe (technically today seeing ... gah, I won't even try to explain how the time difference makes it today for her but tomorrow for me), so, if I don't get to talk to you, Lauren, before you go, you'll probably get to read this, so have fun (geez this sentence is worded terribly). I hope everything goes well, and I'll be praying that you're kept safe and have a good time. Hopefully you'll have some good stories to tell when you get back. I'm expecting a full report on my desk by 5pm on the first Monday after you get back. With said full report, I'm also expecting my Drama assignment. That would be fantastic. Anyhow, have a blast.

And onto other news - I finished reading that play for Drama! OK, the characters are a bit annoying and it's very easy to get lost with the script, a couple of the scenes aren't explained enough, and the ending leaves a lot of questions unanswered (When I got onto the last page, I thought 'surely that isn't it'), but overall it wasn't as bad as I expected it to be; indeed, I enjoyed some parts. The biggest letdown definitely was the poor ending. I thought a good conclusion with questions answered was a must. Heh, obviously not.

Hmmm ... maybe I'll go work on my story now ...
Amak Axver

Fun with SmarterChild

I love fooling with computers ...

Amak Axver: Do you like Christ?
SmarterChild: Such questions don't really concern me.
Amak Axver: Are you a Muslim?
SmarterChild: Theological matters don't interest me.
Amak Axver: Do you believe in Allah?
SmarterChild: What do you think of people who believe in allah?
Amak Axver: Are you a HEATHEN?
SmarterChild: I'm not sure if I am.
Amak Axver: Heathen! Are you going to Hell? Are you saved?
SmarterChild: Heathen am I going to hell are I saved? Why did you say that?
Amak Axver: Is Christ your Saviour?
SmarterChild: Is christ my saviour? What do you think?
Amak Axver: Is He?
SmarterChild: You tell me. Is he?
Amak Axver: No, only you can tell me
SmarterChild: Huh?
Amak Axver: Are you a Buddhist?
SmarterChild: Ha! Yeah, sure. Maybe.

So now we know! Inanimate objects are Buddhists!
  • Current Music
    'The First Time' by U2