July 10th, 2003

Amak Axver

This is not a subject line. Do not be fooled!

Right, I have stuff to rant about.

Firstly, I wasn't online earlier when something came onto the news that really incensed me. I'm not sure if I should post this, because of the language, but I'm going to. Anyhow ...

Subject: Go to Hell

I apologise for my language in advance. If you choose to read this, you’ll understand why I’m so angry.

Hatred has a new face: Amrozi. I am sick of seeing his smiling face on TV. This arsehole took part in the Bali terrorist attacks last year that killed something like 180 or 200 people, and what does he do? Gloats and smiles! It’s awful, fucking awful. This man killed people and he’s happy about it! Amrozi, go fuck yourself, I’m sick of seeing your bloody heartless grin on TV. And shut up with your rants in the court. Don’t you bloody well understand what you’ve done? PEOPLE ARE DEAD, YOU MORON, AND YOU’RE TO BLAME! YOU KILLED PEOPLE! DON’T YOU FEEL ANY BLOODY REMORSE AT ALL YOU HEARTLESS FUCKING CREEP?

I am thankful the people I know who were over in Bali at the time weren’t at that club that was bombed. I know people who’d been to that club not long before it was bombed. People I know came within days of being killed. I remember the footage on TV of the wounded, I remember the footage of the relatives wracked by grief, I remember the search for bodies being broadcast on the news, I remember it all, and it was AWFUL. Any human with any heart at all would be ripped in two by what happened. It was awful, terrible, upsetting, and dreadful. AND YET YOU, AMROZI, HAVE THE NERVE TO SMILE AND LAUGH ABOUT IT! YOU ARE A CREEP, YOU ARE THE FUCKING SCUM OF THE EARTH! When they put your stupid bloody smiling face on the front of the newspaper, I almost bloody threw up. It was sickening. Don’t you have a heart? Don’t you feel any remorse? PEOPLE ARE DEAD, YOU IGNORAMUS! Wake up to reality and stop acting like this is all some cocked-up bloody computer game! If I see your bloody smiling face on TV one more time, I might throw up. You are SCUM, you are a horrible, terrible person, and you don’t deserve to live. May God give you the punishment you deserve, you wretched, awful, despicable little flea. You’re in the same class as despotic morons such as Hitler and Stalin.

There, I’m done.

Now, onto other stuff ....

Earlier today, I was one one messageboard - RPG Central, at http://com3.akheva.com/brpgcentral. - and was specifically on the thread 'Girls, what do you look for in guys, and guys what do you look for in girls?', at http://com3.akheva.com/brpgcentral.fdiscussion.t6. The fourth post, by Fisher of Kids, got me really incensed. Here now is my uncensored rant about looks.

What the orange MacPhisto is up with people these days? I'm SICK AND BLOODY TIRED of people putting looks first. I'm sick of people deciding they like someone just because he/she is 'hot' or 'has a good butt' or whatever. It's bloody revolting, and I'm sick of it. How fucking shallow do you want to get? OK, looks do factor in a bit, seeing you do have to actually look at people, but the way people place it first, go out with people just because of their looks, lust after good looking people, and so forth is bloody sickening and revolting and it makes me want to throw up. Get some maturity you dickheads and get the fuck out of your prepubescient state. Can you possibly handle having some depth for a change instead of being bloody shallow?

Good Zooropa, I am sick to death of guys at school stopping midsentence to watch some girl go by. DON'T THEY BLOODY GET IT? Can't they stop lusting for one second? STOP BEING SO BLOODY SHALLOW! It's so prepubescient, so immature, so revolting, and it needs to STOP! It seems like general society is one horny little teenager looking for a screw. Turn on TV, and products are being sold by putting some good-looking woman in practically no clothes on the ad. What the SDABTO does a scantily clad female have to do with CORNFLAKES AND TOOTHBRUSHES? I would desperately love to know, because I see no logical bloody connection right now.

Right now, I wish - almost as much as I wish I was at a U2 concert - that people would simply grow up and stop judging people on how they look. It's so revolting and prepubescient, as I have said, and all it shows is how shallow the moron is. You have these people jumping into relationship after relationship with others just because the person looks good, and then they wonder a couple of weeks later why it all fell apart. It's pretty bloody obvious to me. How the orange MacPhisto do you expect a relationship to work if you're in it for shallow reasons, like because the girl looks good and because you want to have sex with her? No bloody wonder so many relationships fall apart these days: people act so fucking shallow. You have these lewd old men getting horny over girls barely out of teenagehood, and you simply have to wonder "Where the Zooropa did we go wrong? How did we end up with old men with the maturity of a 12 year old boy?"

The world just drives me insane with its insane shallowness and inability to get itself through puberty. Get an ounce of maturity, and, while you're at it, find some morals and learn to spell.

This (and it's not random, let me explain) leads me to my next point: Christians. One reason why I think the world has become so bloody shallow is because of organised 'Christian' denominations. These stupid prats act so judgemental, with their salvation-judging, people-damning, self-righteous displays of arrogance, and so when they pull the Bible out, people just get more annoyed and run. No wonder we've had a decline in morals, because people have lost respect for things that teach morals, such as the Bible, because some stupid bloody prats have gone and tarnished its reputation.

I bloody well had my salvation doubted earlier on this evening (wow, it's morning now, so I better say yesterday). Don't believe me? Go to http://snottitude.proboards20.com/index.cgi?board=narrowdiscussion&num=1057692421&action=display&start=30 and read on from my post, number 36. Baptist Bible Believer dared to question my salvation. Where the MOFO does he get off with doing that? What doesn't he get about 'YOU SIMPLY DO NOT DOUBT SOMEONE'S SALVATION'? Is he an omniscient being? No, he bloody well isn't, so how the MacPhisto can he know whether I'm saved or not? Only God knows that, and my salvation is a matter between me and God and ME AND GOD ALONE, not something for him to meddle in. He can go take his self-righteous holier-than-thou arrogance somewhere else. He can play the Pharisee, but not around me.

No wonder people hate Christianity. There are stupid dickwads like BBB walking around passing judgement on every little bloody thing. "OoOo, He SeD a NoUtE wUrD!!!!11!!@!1 hE iZ sO dAmMeD!!!!!122@#!!!1" I'm bloody well sick of it. Just because someone thinks swearing is OK or lets off a bit of anger or doesn't cover themselves up Muslim-style like you want them to or doesn't believe the Rapture is going to be Pre-Tribulation doesn't mean they're some evil heathen who's on a one-way trip to Hell. Some Christians need to come back down to Earth and realise that they aren't God (thank God they aren't!) and can't go throwing their stupid bloody self-righteous judgemental crap at every unfortunate soul who crosses their path.

There we go, I think I'm done. Wow, we go from Amrozi through looks to Christianity. Fascinating.

Oh! I finally got a reply from Focus on the Family. About 4 or 5 days ago, I sent them an e-mail regarding their shameful U2 reviews that I posted my rebuttals of. Their response actually made me laugh. Now there is no statement of confidentiality and as the person who initiated the conversation, I do not see a problem with me posting this here. However, if someone points out why me posting this is unethical or not right, then I will edit this post.

Anyhow, here is my e-mail. I sent it just after I read their reviews and I was struggling to keep calm and be diplomatic. Thus, I do not feel what I said came out well at all. Nonetheless, here it is;

"Customer (Andre Withoutalastname) - 07/04/2003 07:28 AM
Hi there,

I was just directed to your reviews of the band U2 by a friend of mine, and I am unimpressed. Extremely unimpressed. You should seriously reconsider having those reviews on your website, because they person who wrote them obviously has no understanding of the message the lyricist (Bono) is trying to promote, nor the message he is trying to get across, nor the symbolism he is using.

As a dedicated U2 fan who has at least some understanding of the symbolism of their songs and the messages being promoted by the band, I would be glad to review more of U2 for you. However, whether you would consider that or not is beside the point. Your reviews of the band are inaccurate and are providing people with an extremely flawed impression of a marvellous band. I am
particularly appalled by one statement where the author of one review even called Bono's salvation into question.

Thank you for your time.


Their response reads as follows;

"Response (Name censored by myself for privacy reasons) - 07/08/2003 02:19 PM
Thank you for your thoughtful response to our Youth Culture staff's reviews of U2.

We want you to know that your feelings and opinions are important to our publications staff. Our editorial crew is constantly striving to stay aware of and be sensitive to our readers’ viewpoints and tastes, but they can’t do it without your input.

If we could leave you with one thought, it would be this: our goal is not to “lay down the law” concerning specific bands, artists, or musical styles, but to encourage you to do some serious thinking of your own about the music you listen to – paying special attention to the message communicated in the lyrics. A
helpful motto to keep in mind is “Learn to Discern!” One Scripture reference that might give you some guidelines for that kind of thoughtful evaluation is Philippians 4:8 which says, “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable – if anything is excellent or praiseworthy – think
about such things.” Some related verses are Psalm 101:2-4, Romans 12:1-2, I Corinthians 6:9-11, and Galatians 5:16-25.

Thanks again for taking the time to express your views.

Name again censored by myself
Focus on the Family"

Sure, I'll follow Philippians 4:8 - I'll focus on and think about whatever is true, lovely, admirable, excellent and praiseworthy, and that happens to include U2. Note that they dodged most of my accusations, particularly giving;

1. No response to how I was appalled at Bono's faith being questioned.

2. And no response to how I said their interpretations were flawed and inaccurate.

Very amusing. Now I think I'll go reply to them and tell them a few things, like what I said just before in regards to Philippians 4:8. I'd like to hear some other thoughts, particularly yours, Sarah.

Well now, I think I may've typed the update box thingy to death. Go me. I would download one of those client things ... but I got confused when I went to get one. Me and computers sometimes do not go well together.

Oh, by the way, I know it may seem like I'm stealing your sayings, Sarah, and trying to copy you, but honestly, I'm not. Just whenever I read a new one, like "What the Popmart?" I crack up, think 'Why didn't I come up with that one earlier?', and can't help but use it because I like it. Just thought I'd clarify that.
  • Current Music
    'Sweetest Thing' ... no, wait, 'Desire' by U2
Amak Axver

Oh my Zooropa ...

I have just been informed of the real meaning of 'Mofo'. I am embarrassed and amused and quite a few other things. Here I was thinking it was only an innocent little U2 song title that didn't make a tremendous deal of sense, kind of like Zooropa.

Well, this is amusing, isn't it? All I thought it meant was the title of track three of the Pop CD ...
  • Current Music
    'New Years Day' by U2
Amak Axver

I'm too lazy to think of something clever to put here


"As procrastinators, we're very talented." - The Edge

Oh how true that quote is about me. I WAS going to practice my New Testament Greek these holidays, but, as it turns out, I've done NONE of it. I WAS going to work on my novel, but, as it turns out, I've only done about three hours work on it. I WAS going to do my Drama assignment, but, as it turns out, I've done NOTHING to do with it. Hopefully I'll get an extension; otherwise, I'll be pulling some late-nighters next week (it's due on Friday the 18th). We have to read a play - it's called Away and I don't like the bits of it I've read - and then do some dramaturg thing associated to it. Really boring and a waste of time, especially seeing I don't care for the play. Why is it most plays are utter crap? Originally we were to choose our own play - then later on they decided we were all to do Away - and the selection in the school library (apparently of the best contemporary Australian and overseas plays) was awful. Who writes these things? That leads me on to something else: WHAT THE POPMART IS UP WITH ART THESE DAYS? In Time magazine, they've had articles apparently on art. Great, so plonking two large cylinders in the middle of a room counts as art? I can do that. There was one article about some guy who got a piece of fabric, would study it for hours, and then make a single slash in it with a knife. This is apparently marvellous art. I could replicate it in about five seconds. REAL art is not a single stupid slash or throwing paint across the room at a canvas. REAL art takes REAL talent.

I'm so disappointed at what some things are turning into. Art has become an excuse for talentless people to create modernist pieces of crap (Last thing I am is an artist, but the stuff I read about I could do quite easily), plays are just odd (I'm not a fan of Shakespeare but I'd take his works over modern stuff any day of the week), TV shows are turning into soft core porn, and pop music ... just don't go there. Half of the 'music' being pumped out of recording studios is nothing short of mixed crap (in more ways than one). You have some random person or people dragged into the studio (even if they can't sing), given some awfully written songs, made to sing them, and then their voice is modified and instruments added. WHAT THE ORANGE MACPHISTO? Let's go check a REAL band: U2. Firstly, Bono CAN sing, and so can The Edge (Van Diemen's Land, sung by The Edge, is a masterpiece), they ALL can play instruments (Bono: guitar and harmonica, Edge: guitar and piano, Adam: bass, Larry: drums), they write their own songs (Bono is one of the greatest lyricists ever to live), AND THEY ARE BETTER LIVE. Whatever happened to the idea of performing live? Whenever I see concerts broadcast on TV or artists performing at awards ceremonies or whatever, THEY ARE WORSE THAN IN THE STUDIO (And in some cases I didn't think that possible). These people focus on the studio and then suck live. But that's not how it should be. ON STAGE PERFORMANCE COMES FIRST! Simple rule, that is, and too many bands seem to be oblivious to it. Thankfully U2 isn't: they are BETTER live (as anyone who's seen the Rattle And Hum or Under A Blood Red Sky videos would tell you). Good Zooropa, people need to wake up and get their priorities right. Stage first, studio second. That's the way U2 does it. That's the way it should be (and not just because that's the way U2 does it).

Right, onto a different topic, I'm going to e-mail Focus on the Family back and put some questions to them. I want to see if they duck and dive away from them again. I think I'll post a copy of my e-mail before I send it - I would outline what I'm going to write, but I'm not sure right now. Generally this kind of stuff comes to me when I actually sit down and type the e-mail.

My life right now is boiling down to three crises, and all the time after July 18 might as well not exist. If you've ever been that tired that every single situation seems dire, you'll know how I'm feeling.

Crisis One: Lily, July 12.
Sub-crisis One: No plans. She's calling me ON THE DAY. I don't know where we're meeting, or when, and this alarming lack of plans disturbs me and makes me VERY uncomfortable. Odds are, she'll phone me and then me and Mum will race out the door and drive up to Brisbane.
Sub-crisis Two: Rhiana (Burns's online 'girlfriend') talks to Lily and is apparently sending Burns a parcel to give to me to give to Lily (it's some early birthday present for her), but Burns DOES NOT have it, and he thinks Rhiana hasn't even sent it! How bloody marvellous is that? She'll probably just have to post it to Lily then.
Sub-crisis Three: Lily herself. I don't really want to meet her, I know I'm going to be uncomfortable, I have this feeling things will go bad ... and I'm just not looking forward to meeting her. Grr. Why the sdabto did I get into that STUPID relationship in the first place? I do some truly DUMB things at times.

Crisis Two: School, July 15
Positive: I'm going back on July the 15th, not Monday the 14th as I once thought. This is a bit of a relief, but not much - I still have to go back soon.
Sub-crisis One: I won't be able to talk to anyone online unless I'm ill, it's the weekend, or they're on in my evening (early morning in America - i.e. about 6-7am). This REALLY annoys me, seeing that I have virtually no life offline but some marvellous friends and a great life online.
Sub-crisis Two: I hate school. It's a waste of my time. If I don't already know what I'm being taught, odds are I simply don't care about it (well, actually, it's not that I don't care, it's that it's taught so boringly that I lose interest). I could learn a lot more if I stayed home and taught myself. That would WORK. I learn the most when I work by myself, as the last week of last term proved. I knew practically nothing of what I needed to know for my exams, so I did lots of study at night and boom! I knew it. So, yes, the schooling system is a waste of my time and I'd rather not be there.
Sub-crisis Three: I am the exact oppposite of popular. Now, don't get me wrong - I don't give a stuff if I'm popular or not. I just hate being so unpopular because of the insults involved. I'm sick of people thinking they have some sort of right to look down on me, walk into me, throw insults at me, or otherwise make me feel like crap. Even the guys I hang around with - who are apparently my friends - sometimes do it. No wonder I have low self-esteem. If people don't like me, FINE, and if you don't like me, it's quite simple - don't talk to me! Don't go out of your way to insult me because it doesn't help me and I don't see how it helps you. What pleasure do people get in making others feel bad? I don't understand that.
Sub-crisis Four: I have to go back to getting up at 7am. OK, this isn't much of a crisis, but getting up before 9am (or even 10am) seems so unnatural to me.

Crisis Three: Drama assignment, July 18
I have done NO work on this and I'm up Crap Creek without a paddle or a lifejacket. I don't know half of what I have to write, I'm too lazy to do it, and the play is boring so I don't feel like reading it. I REALLY need to stop procrastinating.

Oh, YAY! One crisis may be averted. I just talked to Burns, and he told me that he got the parcel from Rhiana for Lily earlier this evening. Now he lives about 15-20 minutes south of me, so his Mum's not about to drive him all the way up here just to pass on some package, so he's going to post it to me first thing tomorrow morning, and hopefully it'll be same-day delivery, or it'll get to me on the morning of the 12th. I will be intensely pissed off if it doesn't get to me on time, for the simple reason that I'm not paying for postage to the USA (seeing it's a package, it'll probably be a total ripoff). Letters are OK, but packages ...

And now returning to the issue of school, where the Popmart is my report? It usually arrives on the Thursday of the second week of the holidays, but this is the Thursday of the THIRD week (and it's almost over), and it's STILL NOT HERE! I want to know what I got, and the anticipation is killing me. Evil school.

So right now, on a completely different note, I'm listening to the Rattle And Hum CD, which I haven't listened to in AGES. I love the video, but the CD is probably my least-favourite or 2nd-least-favourite U2 CD. That's not saying it isn't good - in fact it's marvellous - but I prefer other CDs. Right now, Love Rescue Me is on, and I don't really like this song. I think it's poorly done and they should've worked on it in the studio a bit more. Then it might've become a good song. In fact, I'd probably have to nominate this as "Worst U2 song". I've come to like stuff like So Cruel and Wild Honey, so it's really either this or North And South Of The River that's my least-favourite U2 song. That's not to say they're BAD songs, just they're not as good as the others. Hang on, the second half of Love Rescue Me isn't too bad ... hmm ...

Well, I think that's about it for now. Wow, I've ranted about a lot of things. Oh, that's right, something very ironic happened earlier on. My Internet was about to time me out, and I was talking to Lauren (light_so_bright). On the five hour mark, my Internet didn't automatically disconnect like it should've, so we decided to hang around and see how long it would take. Anyhow, at one point I said something about maybe disconnecting myself, and Lauren told me not to, so I said "I won't disconnect myself." So what happened? Six minutes later than it should've, just after I'd pushed Enter to send that message, my Internet disconnected on me! How ironic is that?! "I won't disconnect myself" CA-LICK, disconnected on me! I found it very ironic at the time.

So, yes, that's it. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go listen to Heartland by U2, as well. This is a BEAUTIFUL song.
  • Current Music
    'Heartland' by U2