July 2nd, 2003

Amak Axver

Er ... think of something creative to go here

Right now, someone I do not know is at my house, getting her nails painted by my mother. I see multiple problems with this;

1. I do not know this person. They better not come upstairs. I dislike people I don't know entering my room. I value my privacy.

2. She is having her nails done. ANYONE having their nails done is bad news. I applaud Mum for going out and learning a new skill, and it does get us money we desperately need, but IT STINKS WHEN MUM DOES PEOPLE'S NAILS! It seeps in under my door - thankfully, I have bad hayfever so my nose is regularly blocked - and it really stinks out the downstairs. Not even bad hayfever stops me from smelling it down there. One day it was that bad I had to run upstairs because I thought I was going to be sick.

3. This person is a friend of the woman who's boarding with us, Mum's friend Trudy. If this woman is even half as crazy as Trudy, this could mean trouble and embarrassment for me. One Trudy is fine. Two of them may be deadly.

4. I'm now going off on a tangent about painting nails. THERE IS NO PRACTICAL APPLICATION FOR IT! I don't see the point in painting nails, unless you want to stink the house out. My Mum reckons it's to look good and because men like it. Well, the first point, my response is "Big woop", and the second point, well, I never notice nails because of my eyesight, and most of my friends reckon painted nails is a turn-off.

But, hey, if Mum wants to be a nail technician and people want their nails done, then good on her. It gets us money we need. Just I wish she wouldn't do it at home.
Amak Axver

My computer may suffer a slow and painful death soon ....

Right folks, this is my rant. There, you've had warning. This rant will cover a lot of things: my computer, my download limit, Tyndale, Jerry Jenkins not being dead yet, and a lot of other things.

OK, firstly, my computer is doing this for the second night in a row. It hasn't done it during the day, but only during the night - whenever I try to go to pages, the stupid thing gives me an error message, and to get where I want to go, I either have to refresh it or click 'back'. It's very annoying, wasting my time, and, leading to my next point, is a supreme waste of download limit.

This month, I've blown my download limit. I had only 33.5 megabytes left this morning when I checked (it's not reset until the 12th), and I have already used 7 of that today. Ooo, clever me. I think I may be able to use very little over the next few days, but I'm not sure. I'll just be sending e-mails, posting on here - so prepare to be inundated - and talking on IMs. I think going to MBs will have to go for the next few days. The reason it's blown is because of the LBMB: I was on there so much the last week, making the most of it before I went, and successfully blew the limit. But at least I have no MBs I'm dying to go to.

Plus, last month, I also blew my download limit, but my ISP didn't charge me for it. Strange. Maybe they won't charge me again this month. And, if they do, Mum can take money out of my bank account. I already owe her $30 - I had to pay all $20 of Pop (CD by U2), and $10 of Zooropa (CD by U2).

Speaking of Zooropa, I got that cheap - it was supposed to be $31, but we only paid $20. Let me explain what happened. When I went to the store, Mum said Zooropa was too expensive - which it was - and said she wouldn't buy it. She did ask the sales assistant why a 10 year old CD was so expensive, and got some odd explanation. After a lot of thought, I decided to get The Unforgettable Fire (paid by Mum) and Pop (yet to be paid back by me). However, the sales assistant put the Zooropa CD in the Pop case. So, a couple of days later, we went back to get the Pop CD, but in the Zooropa case. Using clever talking, we got it, for $20. So, what all this leads to, is we paid $20 for Pop but got Zooropa, and then paid $20 again for Pop, but in the Zooropa case. That leaves the CD store short by $11, because they really should've got $31 for Zooropa. This has been playing on my conscience lately. I know it's only $11, but maybe I should go pay it back. I don't know.

I know who wouldn't pay it back, though: Tyndale and Jerry Jenkins. Tim LaHaye probably wouldn't, either. But he would give lots of cash to that whacko Sun Yun Moon or whatever his name is. Anyhow, I vehemently hate Tyndale. I cannot believe they took away my board. I NEED that place. I get online, check my e-mails, check my download limit, then have nowhere to go. I used to then go to YTF - or sometimes straight there and check e-mails and limit at the same time - but now I have no place to go. Yes, there's places like the Soon MB, that RPG Central (I don't go there for the RPGs, though (Maybe I should hijack one)), Dancing Snowman, LBMB Left Us Behind, and whatnot, BUT THEY AREN'T HOME. It's like going to a friend's place - you stay for a while, have fun, then go home and visit a while later. But now I visit, and CAN'T GO HOME, and it's driving me insane. I NEED MY HOME! I HATE Tyndale for taking it away. THEY ARE LOWLIFES. People, do not buy ANYTHING from Tyndale. Don't give them the satisfaction of getting any of your hard-earned dollars. I hope they fold. I can't believe they print Bibles - don't they read what they're printing? They must've skipped all those passages about greed being bad. I think they subscribe to pick-and-choose Christianity: take what you want (Heaven), leave what you don't want (all that stuff telling you not to do stuff you like, such as being greedy). Pick-and-choose Christianity pisses me off. It's like "Yeah, I know I tell God to piss off and go do what I want, and He can be a real bastard at times, trying to convict me of stuff, but I prayed the sinner's prayer so I'm saved!" You bloody moron. Firstly, the sinner's prayer isn't actually in the Bible, and if you go and tell God to piss off and think He can be a bastard, what kind of faith is that? OK, maybe it's understandable to tell Him to go away when something violently bad happens, but just because you want to break a commandment? NO!

This leads me on to bloody holier-than-thou Christians. I loathe them. They make me want to throw up. They go around judging people for all kinds of stuff, yet they ignore the fact they do it themselves, and then when presented with Matthew 7:1-2, they try to come up with some retarded cop-out as to why what they are doing is not condemned by that passage. These people are fricking morons. They need to get off their high holier-than-thou horses of arrogance and take a long hard look at what they're actually doing. Before they go condemning anyone else for being a filthy sinner and a lowlife, they need to evaluate their own actions. No wonder the secular world doesn't like Christianity - most Christians are judgemental pricks. There's all this hoop-la about how "Christianity will be made illegal during the Tribulation!" and these people think it's because the secular world is EEEEVIL and hates them for no apparent reason. Well, if Christianity is made illegal, I think I know what it'll be for: people will be so pissed off by the arrogant, judgemental attitudes of holier-than-thou Christians, so they'll make Christianity illegal to get rid of these morons.

Thing is, I'd probably be there applauding them when they make the decision. I AM NOT A CHRISTIAN. I AM A BELIEVER IN CHRIST. BIG DIFFERENCE. The original meaning of the term 'Christian' has been lost, and now has a horrible stigma attached to it. What do you think of when you hear about a Christian? Too often, a stereotypical image comes to mind (or is portrayed in movies or whatever): an arrogant, closed-minded, holier-than-thou judgemental prat who condemns everything in sight and lives an all-round shitty existence. THAT IS NOT WHAT I AM! I don't want to be known as a Christian because of that stigma.

Just a note: sometimes I may refer to something being the beliefs of Christianity or whatever. The context will be pretty obvious as to whether I'm referring to TRUE Christianity - that is, Biblical Christianity, the following of Christ - or crappy FALSE Christianity.

Now, I bet some people reading this will not be impressed by the swearing (of course, some people reading this won't give two hoots at all). Personally, I don't know what to think on swearing. I'm swearing a bit at the moment, but I haven't seen convincing evidence from either side of the "is swearing wrong?" debate. I see no implicit or explicit Biblical proof for either position. Well, maybe a bit of implicit proof for the "swearing is wrong" side, but not much. Until I see anything better, I'm not going to stop myself swearing, if the context and the emotion warrants it.

Now, what also pisses me off is Jerry Jenkins. Someone made a thread on the Soon MB calling him, amongst other things, an arsehole, and, right now, I'm inclined to agree with them. He did NOTHING to stop the most wonderful community on the web, YTF, being destroyed, he stood by as the LBMB was mutilated, and, worst of all, he did not even bother to come to Author's Corner to answer our questions/allegations/et cetera. The pillock was too much of a wimp, too much of an immature little boy, to face us. He just can't stand people disagreeing with him. He was probably a spoilt little brat as a child, because his attitude towards people who disagree with him is loathesome. He needs to understand that, in life, not everyone is going to agree with you, and many of these people are intelligent and will have well-thought-out reasons for doing so. He seems to act like anyone who disagrees with him is a brainless moron, and I can't stand him for that. I wish he'd go throw himself off a cliff. I think the only way I'll ever get some respect for him back is if he decides to force Tyndale to bring back the LBMB. But, right now, I hope he rots. Mean of me, I know, but I honestly feel that way.

I fear some of the things I'm feeling lately are wrong and that I shouldn't harbour this hatred. I think I'm even feeling a bit of conviction of sin, something I haven't felt in ages (I'm not claiming to be perfect, here - I see it as a problem. I've done stuff I KNOW is wrong and felt no conviction). So maybe this hatred is wrong and I need to calm down. I don't know. I wish I had a pastor or someone like that to talk to, but I don't even have a church to go to, and my Christian friends come to ME for advice, not the other way around, so when I have a problem, I can't exactly just go ask someone. I hate this situation. Hopefully it'll pass.

Well, that's about it for now. I'll probably have more to rant about later.
  • Current Music
    'The Unforgettable Fire' by U2
Amak Axver

The following are evil ...

The Backstreet Boys
Kylie Minogue
Mariah Carey
Dan Balow
Jerry Jenkins
Tim LaHaye
Everyone else at Tyndale
That rapper guy named Nelly
George W. Bush! w00t!
Harry Pothead! w00t again!
Michael Jackson
Me (aka TEH EDGE)
My friend Sam (not LBMB Sketch Sam or LBMB Sam_107 Sam)
Teenyboppers
The sun
Princess*
Sam (Sketch Sam)
Yasser Arafat
Did I mention myself?
You

By the way, just so you know, the takeover of the world being orchestrated by me and Lauren is coming along quite nicely. If you want to join us in our crusade, feel free. We're conquering the world until all of it apart from Wheaton, Illinois has fallen, and then we're going to bombard the place for two reasons;

1. To kill Tyndale off once and for all
2. To get our beloved MB back

So join the fight TODAY! Yes, YOU! Join and go kill Tyndale! Tyndale is gonna die until it's dead!
Amak Axver

A bit of a problem ...

I know this one guy named Aaron. I used to be his friend. However, he is a very disturbed young man, and I think he may be gay. Now I simply feel uncomfortable around gay men. It just ... really makes me uncomfortable, especially one day at school when I caught him gazing at me and the guys I was hanging around with. He denies that he's gay, but he acts so bloody effeminate it's not funny, and all the signs point to him being gay. I mean, he did tell my friend Patrick he masturbated over him. Even without the potential gay-ness, he's just weird and disturbing.

Anyhow, with that said, he wants to come round to my house. Sure, it'll be fun to have someone to play table tennis with, but I don't think I want him to come round. Thing is, I can't just tell him to rack off. I just ... don't know what to do. I will probably end up feeling uncomfortable and we won't have anything to do bar play table tennis ... hopefully he'll only stay for a short while. I'll come up with something to do that requires him to leave early or something. I don't know.

What I hate is my astounding lack of friends. Everyone else I know seems to have lots of friends. They're going round to their friends or doing stuff with their friends or their friends are staying at their place or they're watching Friends with friends (I hate that show, by the way) or doing something else friend-related. Then there's me. The few friends I have are always insulting me because I spend so much time online, but I enjoy talking to the people I know online. At least they seem to care about me. Most of the guys I hang around with couldn't give two hoots whether I lived or died. A couple do, but most don't. Certainly not folks like Hamilton or Grant. Why is it all these people I've met online who I enjoy talking to have to live thousands of bloody kilometres away, invariably in America?

---A FEW MINUTES LATER---

Well, I was just talking to my friend Sam, and he can't come around at all these holidays. He's on a ski trip at school that leaves on Saturday and lasts for all of the 3rd week of the holidays, and tomorrow and Friday he's busy packing and doing stuff for his Dad. He had to use his Dad's money to get wood for a bow he's making, and so he has to do work to pay him back. Sam's recently become obsessd with making bows and other weaponry like that. It's weird, very weird. He doesn't want to use it for violence or anything - Sam's not like that - but he's spending all his time and effort on it. It was rockets (he would make them and launch them) - in fact, he's still doing them - and now bows.

I do have no-one to hang out with here. How sad. How pathetic. How overwhelmingly Internet-orientated my life is. How non-existent my offline life is. Ah well ...