Axver (axver) wrote,

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We held our day in our hands ...

I suddenly like calculus a whole lot. Despite the fact I could barely keep myself awake for the lesson, I really enjoyed myself. This stuff is fascinating. I feel all mathematical. Silly me didn't bring my textbook home, but if I decide to do some practice, I'm sure my notes will help me out somewhat. I also desperately need to go over Maths C stuff. I'm looking forward to Maths C tomorrow. What is it we're doing again? Something fun. Finding matrix inverses with adjoints, that's it. I love matrices. I love being back in the feeling of mathematical love that I lost a couple of years ago. It's amazing what the likability of a teacher can do. Queenie's a hero, no ifs or buts about it, and on his day, Robbo's a really good bloke too.

I don't have to do my Modern History exam until Thursday. Woohoo! My assignment this term is on the topic of American cultural imperialism. This should be VERY fascinating. Thoughts and opinions are appreciated.

My Internet hates me today. Could be worse - a good deal of the school computer system is down thanks to the Sasser worm. A lot of people are VERY unimpressed because the system has been terrible for the last week and it's stuffing them around with assignments. Better be fixed soon. I don't see why some computers work and others don't.

As most of you know, I'm a Senior Leader at school. For those who have forgotten or haven't been around my LJ long enough, this is the student leadership hierarchy at my school: Senior Leader --> Prefect --> Vice-Captain --> Captain. The captains and Senior Leaders were appointed last year, and for meritous service, Senior Leaders can be promoted to the level of Prefect. Today a number of people were inducted as Prefects, which was terribly ironic for me. I didn't even know this was happening, it has nothing to do with my thoughts lately.

Lately, I have been contemplating resigning from my position. I won't, because I value being on the yearbook committee and they'd be dead without me, but I am still very much on the verge of it. If I can remain in a position on the yearbook committee whilst not being a Senior Leader, I may just do it. A lot lately has left me disillusioned, dissatisfied, and ultimately ashamed to wear my Senior Leader badge. In what was pretty symbolic for me personally, I took my badge off my blazer this morning and pocketed it - ironically about twenty minutes before I found out the Prefects were being inducted. I am simply not sure if I can remain a Senior Leader, giving the appearance that I support and uphold the ideals promoted through that position. The shocking favouritism, bias, and disorganisation ticks me off, and it's so FAKE. The idea of leadership, in my opinion, is to serve. It is about servitude. I base this on the same Biblical opinions the school claims to base their idea of leadership upon. However, I do not see them fulfilling this. I have seen incompetent louts promoted through favouritism. Some people are said to have done a lot, but I've seen no change. I see self-serving, self-gratifying, and self-applauding behaviour, I see people using this institution as a means to make themselves and their curriculum vitae look good, and I see a lot of ineptitude and flowery, showy behaviour and prayer, but I do not see the basic ideas of leadership. I just don't. I think it's revolting.

That brings me to another thing. The religion practiced in my school, notably the prayers. I have never understood why people, when they pray publicly, insist upon saying flowery, longwinded, fancy prayers. When you break things down, too often they're just using those words to look good. Unless I'm grossly mistaken, prayer is a personal communication and dialogue with God, and I would bet that if that same person making the flowery prayer were to have said that prayer in silence, one-on-one with God, it would sound COMPLETELY DIFFERENT and most likely not of a level they'd deem worthy of speaking in public. I prefer to keep my prayers between God and myself, and I prefer to pray my own than be led by some guy who's using fancy words for the sake of it. A lot of the religion in my school feels very hollow, self-seeking, confident in its own holiness and righteousness. Simply put, it does not feel REAL. I do not feel God in it. Maybe I'm wrong. However, that's how I feel, and it's how I know multiple other people feel. I cannot accept that it is a fair representation of true Christianity in any way.

Enough of the negativity. desert_sky, you should get some sort of medal for all the cool uploading you've done. I am LOVING the bootlegs of pre-Boy U2 demos. People, this stuff is amazing. I can't believe how young they were on some of these tracks. Street Mission, Shadows And Tall Trees, and The Fool absolutely ROCK, and at the time, both Edge and Larry were younger than I am now. They're from the day after Larry turned seventeen according to FLOM ... though I always thought the Keystone Studios demos were from BEFORE Larry turned seventeen. I suppose different dates are circulating, like how different sources give different dates for the Street Mission performance on Irish TV (I give early March 1978 the most credit myself). But ... here's some very disconnected thoughts;

- The demo of SATT is awesome and beats the version on Boy.
- Same goes for the demo of Another Time, Another Place. I love Edge's solo and it's just so good.
- The worst version of 11 O'clock Tick Tock is without a doubt the studio version.
- I love the beginning of Lost [or Life] On A Silent [Distant] Planet/The Magic Carpet/Judith. Adam's bass and Bono's "Judith ... Judith ... can you hear me? Can you see me?" combine really well. To reduce confusion, I'm going to refer to this song from now on as Lost On A Silent Planet because I think that's the best title.
- I've had The Dream Is Over stuck in my head all day. I love the way Bono sings the title, but the music of it seems VERY familiar ... Boy/Girl, maybe? Yes, I'm sure of it. Those of you with copies of The Contract Demos, check 1:35-1:40 of track six, Boy/Girl, then the start and 1:45-1:50 of track four, The Dream Is Over, and tell me if you think they're the same.
- A Day Without Me definitely saw marked improvement before appearing in the familiar form we know on Boy.
- According to FLOM, this bootleg has the conspicuous absence of a song named 'I Realise'. I hadn't heard of it before reading that entry and never seen it listed anywhere, or on any other bootleg of early demos. Hmm.
- I'd love to know who Lost On A Silent Planet's Judith is. Bono was with Ali since he was sixteen, I think, so that confuses me.

One thing I'm looking for is the only live performance of Scarlet, at a BBC radio session on 14 October 1981. I once downloaded a file claiming to be it, but all I got was the start of Boy/Girl from the radio session, bah. I can't imagine Scarlet being played live ... then again, when I first heard Numb and Zooropa I couldn't imagine them live either.

I seem to recall having more to comment on, but it's slipped my mind. In any case, I really better get going and do some schoolwork, it's somehow past 5pm already. Where does time go to?

--- 5:25pm ---

I forgot to mention I love My Time Hasn't Come. It's from a soundcheck at the start of The Joshua Tree tour and some say it's the greatest song U2 hasn't released (forgetting Street Mission and Take You Down, are we?). Initially, I wasn't that keen on it, but now it's really grown on me and I love it. To think this was just a soundcheck! If they'd done some work on this song and taken it into the studio ... wow, it would've been amazing. It's a gem.

The Fool (1978 demo)

Alive in an ocean
A world that didn't see
I walk the world backways
It's always the same ballgame

That's out of mind
Out of the living world
Out of time
I break all the rules, they call me a fool

I cartoon in motion
A hero pretends no pain
A clown slipping backwards
You laugh at another's shame

But I don't mind
I know I'm limping low down
I don't mind
Winners or losers
It's all just a game
And I'm going down
And I'm slowing down

Life and an answer
The key to an open door
Admiting I'm laughing
Living I'm limping more

It's out of mind
Out of the living world
Out of time
Winners or losers
It's always a game
And I'm going down
But I'm slowing down
To rout around
And around, and around
To 'round, around
There's a cloud
There's a cloud

So, sa-low ... the fool has found the golden key
So, sa-low ... it's waiting there for you and me
Just a fool, a street jester
The hero of society
Just a fool, a street jester
Look at me, now can't you see?

A life in emotion
A world I'm glad I didn't see [Wow, that line rings true]
A cartoon in motion
A key to the same day

I don't mind, I'm here to know
I wanna go, go, go, go, go

So, sa-low ... the fool has found the golden key
It's so, sa-low ... it's waiting there for you and me
Just a fool, a street jester
The hero of society
Just a fool, a street jester
Look at me, now can't you see?

[I'm really not sure about that 'sa-low' word. Maybe it's some Gaelic Bono's thrown in? Hang on, maybe it's the French 'salut' if I remember the pronunciation correctly ... eh, I don't know. Still a cool song, I think Edge does some cool guitar.]

--- 6:33pm ---

Shiiiiiiit! It's the 17th, right? Well, for the Queensland Core Skills Test, I have to get my form requesting special exam conditions (enlarged test papers and such) in by the 21st. I thought it was the 31st. Shiiiiit! I don't trust Australian Post as far as I can bloody throw them. Last time I rely on my mother to get things done! DAMN!

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