Axver (axver) wrote,
Axver
axver

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Just ... YTF ...

I can't believe it's gone. I can't believe I'm up at about 4am, either, but that's beside the point. It's finally starting to sink in that it's gone, and I just feel so empty. I don't know what to do. I'm angry and upset and lost and so many things I cannot describe it.

YTF was more than an MB. We had something marvellous there, something I didn't think you could get on an MB. But we had something, and it was great while it lasted. I'm aching here, I truly am, but I'm trying to remember the good times and nothing bad.

It's all just so depressing, really ... one U2 quote is ringing in my head, and I wish it'd stop, but it's so true: 'Is it like a tape recorder? Can we rewind it just once more?' - Wake Up Dead Man. I wish we could rewind it back to when everything was fine, when nothing like this was happening, when it was HAPPY. I just want YTF back.

What truly annoys me is the fact I didn't make it to even a single year. It would've been a year on July 13. I can't believe that I'm not going to make it. I feel like such a pathetic newbie. You have these oldbies who've been there forever, and I hate to imagine how they feel. I just wish I'd had a year ... I just want another bloody hour on YTF. I'd settle for that. I just want a chance to wrap it all up. It being deleted just like that hurts the most. No warning, nothing at all, just gone. I still click the link to it, out of habit, out of misplaced desperate hope. I know it won't work but I try anyway. I just want it back ...

I know I have to move on. I can and I will. But now I'm wallowing in my hurt. I want to mourn it, and I'm going to. I'm not moving on until I'm good and ready. This pain is just awful, but ... I need YTF. I need that place like you wouldn't believe. It was more than a messageboard. Oh, it was more, so much more.

Goodbye, YTF. Lest we forget.
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