"As procrastinators, we're very talented." - The Edge
Oh how true that quote is about me. I WAS going to practice my New Testament Greek these holidays, but, as it turns out, I've done NONE of it. I WAS going to work on my novel, but, as it turns out, I've only done about three hours work on it. I WAS going to do my Drama assignment, but, as it turns out, I've done NOTHING to do with it. Hopefully I'll get an extension; otherwise, I'll be pulling some late-nighters next week (it's due on Friday the 18th). We have to read a play - it's called Away and I don't like the bits of it I've read - and then do some dramaturg thing associated to it. Really boring and a waste of time, especially seeing I don't care for the play. Why is it most plays are utter crap? Originally we were to choose our own play - then later on they decided we were all to do Away - and the selection in the school library (apparently of the best contemporary Australian and overseas plays) was awful. Who writes these things? That leads me on to something else: WHAT THE POPMART IS UP WITH ART THESE DAYS? In Time magazine, they've had articles apparently on art. Great, so plonking two large cylinders in the middle of a room counts as art? I can do that. There was one article about some guy who got a piece of fabric, would study it for hours, and then make a single slash in it with a knife. This is apparently marvellous art. I could replicate it in about five seconds. REAL art is not a single stupid slash or throwing paint across the room at a canvas. REAL art takes REAL talent.
I'm so disappointed at what some things are turning into. Art has become an excuse for talentless people to create modernist pieces of crap (Last thing I am is an artist, but the stuff I read about I could do quite easily), plays are just odd (I'm not a fan of Shakespeare but I'd take his works over modern stuff any day of the week), TV shows are turning into soft core porn, and pop music ... just don't go there. Half of the 'music' being pumped out of recording studios is nothing short of mixed crap (in more ways than one). You have some random person or people dragged into the studio (even if they can't sing), given some awfully written songs, made to sing them, and then their voice is modified and instruments added. WHAT THE ORANGE MACPHISTO? Let's go check a REAL band: U2. Firstly, Bono CAN sing, and so can The Edge (Van Diemen's Land, sung by The Edge, is a masterpiece), they ALL can play instruments (Bono: guitar and harmonica, Edge: guitar and piano, Adam: bass, Larry: drums), they write their own songs (Bono is one of the greatest lyricists ever to live), AND THEY ARE BETTER LIVE. Whatever happened to the idea of performing live? Whenever I see concerts broadcast on TV or artists performing at awards ceremonies or whatever, THEY ARE WORSE THAN IN THE STUDIO (And in some cases I didn't think that possible). These people focus on the studio and then suck live. But that's not how it should be. ON STAGE PERFORMANCE COMES FIRST! Simple rule, that is, and too many bands seem to be oblivious to it. Thankfully U2 isn't: they are BETTER live (as anyone who's seen the Rattle And Hum or Under A Blood Red Sky videos would tell you). Good Zooropa, people need to wake up and get their priorities right. Stage first, studio second. That's the way U2 does it. That's the way it should be (and not just because that's the way U2 does it).
Right, onto a different topic, I'm going to e-mail Focus on the Family back and put some questions to them. I want to see if they duck and dive away from them again. I think I'll post a copy of my e-mail before I send it - I would outline what I'm going to write, but I'm not sure right now. Generally this kind of stuff comes to me when I actually sit down and type the e-mail.
My life right now is boiling down to three crises, and all the time after July 18 might as well not exist. If you've ever been that tired that every single situation seems dire, you'll know how I'm feeling.
Crisis One: Lily, July 12.
Sub-crisis One: No plans. She's calling me ON THE DAY. I don't know where we're meeting, or when, and this alarming lack of plans disturbs me and makes me VERY uncomfortable. Odds are, she'll phone me and then me and Mum will race out the door and drive up to Brisbane.
Sub-crisis Two: Rhiana (Burns's online 'girlfriend') talks to Lily and is apparently sending Burns a parcel to give to me to give to Lily (it's some early birthday present for her), but Burns DOES NOT have it, and he thinks Rhiana hasn't even sent it! How bloody marvellous is that? She'll probably just have to post it to Lily then.
Sub-crisis Three: Lily herself. I don't really want to meet her, I know I'm going to be uncomfortable, I have this feeling things will go bad ... and I'm just not looking forward to meeting her. Grr. Why the sdabto did I get into that STUPID relationship in the first place? I do some truly DUMB things at times.
Crisis Two: School, July 15
Positive: I'm going back on July the 15th, not Monday the 14th as I once thought. This is a bit of a relief, but not much - I still have to go back soon.
Sub-crisis One: I won't be able to talk to anyone online unless I'm ill, it's the weekend, or they're on in my evening (early morning in America - i.e. about 6-7am). This REALLY annoys me, seeing that I have virtually no life offline but some marvellous friends and a great life online.
Sub-crisis Two: I hate school. It's a waste of my time. If I don't already know what I'm being taught, odds are I simply don't care about it (well, actually, it's not that I don't care, it's that it's taught so boringly that I lose interest). I could learn a lot more if I stayed home and taught myself. That would WORK. I learn the most when I work by myself, as the last week of last term proved. I knew practically nothing of what I needed to know for my exams, so I did lots of study at night and boom! I knew it. So, yes, the schooling system is a waste of my time and I'd rather not be there.
Sub-crisis Three: I am the exact oppposite of popular. Now, don't get me wrong - I don't give a stuff if I'm popular or not. I just hate being so unpopular because of the insults involved. I'm sick of people thinking they have some sort of right to look down on me, walk into me, throw insults at me, or otherwise make me feel like crap. Even the guys I hang around with - who are apparently my friends - sometimes do it. No wonder I have low self-esteem. If people don't like me, FINE, and if you don't like me, it's quite simple - don't talk to me! Don't go out of your way to insult me because it doesn't help me and I don't see how it helps you. What pleasure do people get in making others feel bad? I don't understand that.
Sub-crisis Four: I have to go back to getting up at 7am. OK, this isn't much of a crisis, but getting up before 9am (or even 10am) seems so unnatural to me.
Crisis Three: Drama assignment, July 18
I have done NO work on this and I'm up Crap Creek without a paddle or a lifejacket. I don't know half of what I have to write, I'm too lazy to do it, and the play is boring so I don't feel like reading it. I REALLY need to stop procrastinating.
Oh, YAY! One crisis may be averted. I just talked to Burns, and he told me that he got the parcel from Rhiana for Lily earlier this evening. Now he lives about 15-20 minutes south of me, so his Mum's not about to drive him all the way up here just to pass on some package, so he's going to post it to me first thing tomorrow morning, and hopefully it'll be same-day delivery, or it'll get to me on the morning of the 12th. I will be intensely pissed off if it doesn't get to me on time, for the simple reason that I'm not paying for postage to the USA (seeing it's a package, it'll probably be a total ripoff). Letters are OK, but packages ...
And now returning to the issue of school, where the Popmart is my report? It usually arrives on the Thursday of the second week of the holidays, but this is the Thursday of the THIRD week (and it's almost over), and it's STILL NOT HERE! I want to know what I got, and the anticipation is killing me. Evil school.
So right now, on a completely different note, I'm listening to the Rattle And Hum CD, which I haven't listened to in AGES. I love the video, but the CD is probably my least-favourite or 2nd-least-favourite U2 CD. That's not saying it isn't good - in fact it's marvellous - but I prefer other CDs. Right now, Love Rescue Me is on, and I don't really like this song. I think it's poorly done and they should've worked on it in the studio a bit more. Then it might've become a good song. In fact, I'd probably have to nominate this as "Worst U2 song". I've come to like stuff like So Cruel and Wild Honey, so it's really either this or North And South Of The River that's my least-favourite U2 song. That's not to say they're BAD songs, just they're not as good as the others. Hang on, the second half of Love Rescue Me isn't too bad ... hmm ...
Well, I think that's about it for now. Wow, I've ranted about a lot of things. Oh, that's right, something very ironic happened earlier on. My Internet was about to time me out, and I was talking to Lauren (light_so_bright). On the five hour mark, my Internet didn't automatically disconnect like it should've, so we decided to hang around and see how long it would take. Anyhow, at one point I said something about maybe disconnecting myself, and Lauren told me not to, so I said "I won't disconnect myself." So what happened? Six minutes later than it should've, just after I'd pushed Enter to send that message, my Internet disconnected on me! How ironic is that?! "I won't disconnect myself" CA-LICK, disconnected on me! I found it very ironic at the time.
So, yes, that's it. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go listen to Heartland by U2, as well. This is a BEAUTIFUL song.