Axver (axver) wrote,

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You'll most likely scroll right past this one

This got a lot longer than I intended, so I've cut some of it.

Well now, in some news that's gotten completely ignored in amongst ... nothing much, Heydar Aliyev, former President of Azerbaijan, died in, of all places, Ohio. I've tried to keep up with the news on Azerbaijan, seeing that part of the world holds some strange interest for me, but I don't hear much. Last I heard, Heydar Aliyev's son Ilham succeeded him in October elections that were very corrupt, rioting broke out on the streets, and there was a brawl in parliamnet on national TV that I saw a snippet of on the news here.

Damn, some of Tool's songs are good. OK, so I've only downloaded four, but I like them, particularly Schism and Aenima (can anyone tell me how to get the proper letter that belongs where the 'ae' is?), even if the latter has excessive swearing.

Last night, Santa Claus Is Coming To Town nearly drove me insane. At the Christmas display Sam and I run the Lego trains at, there's this guy who gets up and sings every so often, and I don't think he knows many songs beyond SCICTT (though he sung a note in Silent Night that Sam said "should be illegal"). By about the fifth rendition, I was going mad, and after the umpteenth, I made a comment to Sam: "According to this song, Santa is either God or a stalker." He knows when you're awake, he knows when you're sleeping, he knows if you've been bad or good, so by process of elimination, he can only be God or a stalker. We reasoned that Patrick (from school, who I will from now on refer to as Ranty to avoid confusion with our Lord of Darkness) should wear a Santa hat (because he's a perverted stalker), and commented on how it's sad that in modern society, Santa is often raised to a God-like status.

Robby's going to the LotR:RotK premiere tonight. I didn't know they were doing premieres this early. Fucking bastard. He sometimes pisses me off, so by that logic, he shouldn't be allowed to go. How the hell did he get tickets? He's the friendless wonder. In the entire time I've been here, he's never had a friend around or been to a friend's house, and Mum never recalls him having someone around before I moved in, and he only hangs around with a couple of cousins who I'm pretty sure have a very low intellect. He's antisocial in the bad sense of the word.

Went to the mall today to do Christmas shopping for Mum. That was pretty easy. Coping with the mall was not. I'd forgotten just how bad society can be. Hence, the following;

1. If you have this desperate urge to walk into other people, it is highly advised that you stay at home and do not go to a crowded mall filled with lots of people to walk into.
2. If you are going to view your customers with contempt, you probably shouldn't have a shop.
3. To your average teenage girl: skirts/shorts longer than a few centimetres actually exist.
4. Also to your average teenage girl: remarkably enough, you ARE allowed to wear proper tops and not something roughly three millimetres larger than my hankerchiefs.
5. I don't see what's so abnormal about carrying around a hankerchief when your nose seems to find nearly everything constitutes a valid reason to run/sneeze (i.e. flowers, air conditioning, a rapid change in temperature), and I don't understand why the fact I choose to blow my nose rather than wipe snot away with my hand is just cause for you to look at me like I'm an idiot.
6. (From yesterday) If you are not going to carry a hankerchief or anything else you can blow your nose with, go to a movie, and get a runny nose, it is not acceptable practice to make strange snivelling sounds sucking the snot back up, especially not loudly, especially not repeatedly, and especially not through the last half hour of a movie.
7. If you want to get to something on the shelf and I'm in your way, there is an alternative to staring at me and hoping that I move: it's called saying "excuse me" or "may I please get to something?"
8. Speaking of politeness, being polite is not taboo in society, despite what some might think.
9. If you own a shop, ensure your employees are sufficiently trained and confident at their job. (The poor girl who served us at one shop was shaking like a leaf. Couldn't help but feel sorry for her; obviously new and hardly confident with what she was doing)
10. If your shop is too busy, hire more employees. There are plenty of us who'd like a job.

This week's Time magazine looks most interesting, discussing the 'lost' Gospels. I do hope they deal with the subject well.

From tonight's episode of M*A*S*H;

Potter's arrived back and is busy catching up on work that Hawkeye got behind on. Klinger enters his office, dressed in women's clothing and clutching a bunch of flowers.
Klinger: Sir, I missed you.
Potter: No.
Klinger: About my heart murmurs.
Potter: No.
Klinger: My double vision's coming back.
Potter: No.
Klinger: I've fallen in love with a goat.

So glad I've got all my Christmas shopping over and done with. I hate Christmas shopping. I'm starting to lose any liking for Christmas. Where's the meaning, and does anyone care? Really, Christmas is starting to become most unlikeable. All you do is buy presents in packed shopping centres, or spend ages making them, or fret over the fact you have NO ideas at all, then on the actual day go around and have meals with a bunch of people you'd rather not be seeing, 'enjoy' Christmas food (if I hear one more mention of a roast, I think I'll be sick), 'enjoy' the Christmas TV programming that you've seen for the last [insert your age here] Christmases, and listen to a bunch of tired, worn carols. Am I the only person who doesn't like Christmas carols? If someone decided to perform them in the vein of 11 O'clock Tick Tock or New Year's Day, now that would be good (ESPECIALLY to 11OTT, that'd be bloody insane), but ... oh my, I find them so dull. Whenever people go to put them on, I look at them funny, because it does NOT feel like Christmastime to me. Maybe it needs to heat up a bit more, or maybe Christmas has just lost its magic for me.

Now here's a song that makes a good point about Christmas;

(Feed The World) Do They Know It's Christmas?
By Band Aid (including Bono on vocals and Adam Clayton on bass)

It's Christmastime,
there's no need to be afraid
At Christmastime,
we let in light and we banish shade
And in our world of plenty
we can spread a smile of joy
Throw your arms around the world
at Christmastime
But say a prayer,
pray for the other ones
At Christmastime it's hard,
but when you're having fun
There's a world outside your window,
and it's a world of dread and fear
Where the only water flowing
is the bitter sting of tears
(Bono:) And the Christmas bells that ring there
are the clanging chimes of doom
Well tonight thank God it's them
instead of you

And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime
The greatest gift they'll get this year is life (Oh)
Where nothing ever grows
No rain or rivers flow
Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

Here's to you raise a glass for everyone
Here's to them underneath that burning sun
Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

Feed the world
Feed the world
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmastime
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmastime
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmastime
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmastime
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmastime
Feed the world
Let them know it's Christmastime

Though what I'm starting to get sick of is people missing the point(s) or reason(s), and not just for Christmas, though it's obviously the main example on my mind at the moment. It continues to stun me just how perverted and twisted Christmas has become, how a Christian holiday has been twisted into this festival of materialism, how people sing Christmas carols all about the meaning behind Christmas without even thinking about the words they're singing, and how this same tired rant appears every year in more places than you can count. It's silly.

This is the point where you watch Andre slide into apathy. It's come to the point where I don't - indeed, I never have - thought of Christmas as the time to celebrate the birth of our Saviour. It has no significance to me, and I don't see why I should care, or why it's shocking that I don't. It's just a big "SO WHAT?" to me. The meaning, the purpose, and the significance have been drained from it, sucked into this big pit of oblivion from which nothing returns, and it's sad, but that's the way things have gone and there's nothing I can do about it. People talk about the "Christmas spirit" and how loving and peaceful people are around the time, and that we should try to foster this feeling all year round, but all I see is stress, selfishness, greed, materialism, and missing the point. Why would you want to allow that to continue year-round? Is it too much to ask for us to be happy and to just stop fighting, stop feuding, stop being selfish and seeking our own gain? How is it that we are so blind to miss the point that happiness is found in giving yourself to other people, so that they may be blessed and happy? Why do we think happiness is found in a computer game or premarital sex or how large our bank balance is? Why is everything so messed up? I struggle - in fact, I don't - comprehend the world, and quite frankly, I don't think I want to make sense of it. I'll live in it, I'll try to help improve it, but don't ask me to make sense of it.

As most of you are probably aware, I've been thinking a lot about faith lately, and I go to a lot of Christian MBs, which obviously means I come across people talking about how they "share" their faith, how they "witness" and "evangelise" and "preach the Good News", and so on. I don't understand how these people do it, and I'm sure a lot of them go around it the wrong way. How is it that people can run out there and preach? How is it people can work God into a conversation? I'm only comfortable talking about faith in Christian circles (and sometimes not even then); whenever the topic of religion comes up in my family, I try to change the subject (even though I have nothing to worry about); and ... yes. You by now should see my point. At this stage, the Great Commission comes to me, about "making disciples of all people", and I wonder how the Popmart that's meant to be done. Firstly, how do people have the courage to actually talk about faith (which I consider to be possibly the most personal thing to me), and secondly, how do you do it PROPERLY? So many people think they're so great at sharing the Gospel, but all they do is bash people with Scripture, shove Christ down their throats, and turn them off God. So many people go around Bible-thumping, preaching on the streets, shoving tracts into people's hands, asking them if they have a personal relationship with Christ, but that doesn't help their cause in the slightest. I try to reflect on how I became a Christian, and sadly, I don't remember much of it, but it all came from debates in Christian Education class, and you don't normally get the chance to have those with most people, so ... even if I could remember properly, it wouldn't help me much. How is it people come to God? How is it that you fulfill Jesus' commands in a correct manner, in a way that actually makes the Gospel appealling? Some say that it's done by living as a Christian and showing the love of Christ in all you do, but that's not going to work for two reasons;

1. We're sinful. We'll slip up, and people will remember one mistake over ten good deeds. They won't look at the good stuff you've done or at how loving you are, but at how you stuffed up that day and yelled at her or hit him or lied to them.
2. Living the 'Christian life' (such a phrase has been turned into a joke, really) isn't going to win converts anyway. Just because I see someone acting nice doesn't mean I'm going to ask them why they're so loving. Some may, but it's not going to get the stubborn sods or the people that just don't care. It's flawed from the start. The way you live your life may help promote the Gospel message, but I think it's only going to bring a few people to Christ, if any at all.

The idea of sharing faith is so often clouded by terrible images and stereotypes as well. I feel bad talking about it, to be quite honest. It feels like something some closed-minded fundamentalist would go on about. The idea of bringing people to God has been tarnished by these radical preachers, these people that ram Christ down throats, and the actual idea, the real reason for doing it (despite common attitude, it's not to say "Hey, I've saved x-amount of people"), has been so lost that our image of spreading the Good News has been tarnished and the means of doing it in an appropriate manner have become so unclear and blurred that people such as myself have no idea what to do at all.

Tags: decency, evangelism, santa, society

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