Axver (axver) wrote,

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Grr ....

I'm mad. I'm happy at the same time, if that makes any sense. Right now, I have my U2 on, I'm talking to someone I like, talked earlier on to other people I like talking to, it's a pleasant day, and I've done nothing but that which I want to do. But I'm still mad! YTF is gone, and it's made me realise some stuff. It hurts that it's gone, it still does, and it's made me realise some stuff. Life is full of hurt, it gets worse as you go along, and it's harder to deal with.

But I don't feel like talking about this now. I'm sick of unhappiness and hurt. I'm sick of things being depressing. Why can't things be nice? Why can't I have YTF back? Why can't the world stop being so crap and hurtful? Why can't people be nice and caring and understanding for one bloody minute? Well, a few people I know are, but they are in the DISTINCT minority. If I were to tell anyone at school my winter holiday was crap because I lost YTF, what would they do? LAUGH! They don't understand and they don't care, and that makes me mad! Not even U2 makes me feel better. Well, if they went on tour NOW and I got front row tickets and got to meet them, maybe I'd feel better for a day or two, but usually listening to U2 makes me feel good and it's not at the moment, and I HATE that. It's supposed to make me feel better but it doesn't! Grr.

Anyhow, onto other topics. Aaron is coming round tomorrow. I'm looking forward to playing some table tennis, and hopefully I'll still be able to get online. I need a logical reasn for us both to get on ... I don't know if I can think of one, though. And he can't possibly find out about my LiveJournal. That wouldn't be good, not at all.

And now my Internet has disconnected and is taking forever to sign in again. Ah, there it goes. Ninth attempt! Geez. Ever since my ISP rolled out their new network, it usually takes me forever to sign on. One day it took me THIRTY-SEVEN attempts. Usually it's been taking me anywhere between 5 and 14 attempts. It's so annoying, especially because it used to connect on the 1st go, and rarely later than the 3rd. Hopefully it's just they're getting used to the new network and everything will be right soon enough. I hope it's just teething troubles.

Hopefully I'll be getting broadband in November. That would be simply lovely ...

And in other news, I'm listening to So Cruel by U2 right now. I did hate this song, but it's grown on me, quite a bit. Not a bad song at all.

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