Axver (axver) wrote,
Axver
axver

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No-one's taking this rant away from me

So we lost. We fucking lost. Against all the odds, we snatched defeat from the jaws of victory and plummeted to a humiliating 22-10 loss. The All Blacks go to the third-place playoff, while useless fucking Australia progresses to the final. Australia, get fucked. The lotta ya. Go away. You can't play rugby and you don't deserve a THING, let alone a chance to win the Rugby World Cup. You can't even recognise quality when it's kicking you in the face. The All Blacks are the greatest rugby team in HISTORY. We are unbeatable. We are the best, we are the zenith and epitome of world rugby, the standard which all other teams set out to achieve and SIMPLY CANNOT REACH. The New Zealand All Blacks are the gods of rugby and no-one can even come close to stealing their spot. No team in history in any sport has EVER been better than the All Blacks. They are truly GREAT. There are only two things more important to me than the All Blacks, and that's God and U2. The All Blacks epitomise all that rugby stands for, and every other team is an inane, asinine, bumbling bunch of foolish louts when compared to them. What other team, having played 380 games, boast a winning record of three out of every four games? What other team can boast a FIVE YEAR unbroken run of victories? What other team can say its worst losing streak is only six games after playing its chosen game for ONE HUNDRED YEARS? What other team has come from such a small, supposedly insignificant part of the world and risen to such supreme dominance? NONE! What is the only team that can claim the title of Best Sporting Team Ever? None but the New Zealand All Blacks. No-one has ever risen to the heights of the All Blacks, no-one ever will, and the All Blacks will go down in history as the sporting team that has gotten the closest to perfect.

We never - NEVER, NOT IN A MILLION YEARS - should've helped Australia become a good rugby nation. We should've left them out to rot in the sporting wilderness. We should've left this nation of abusive players, stupid referees, underarm bowlers, and pathetic commentators to stumble around, left them as the easy-beats of the rugby world, left them to hold the title of That Team We Beat On The Way To Playing More Worthy Teams. But NO. Some jackass decided it'd be a good idea to play the Aussies regularly and help them improve their skills - look where that got us! Now these ungrateful morons have unfairly defeated us and taken away a chance at the Cup that is rightfully ours. We had it stolen from us in 1995, 1999, and now 2003. We are the greatest team of all time, damn it! There is no team anywhere better than the All Blacks. New Zealand IS the All Blacks, and we just went down to an Australian team with a sixteenth man - the referee. If he dares step foot in NZ, some Kiwi will shoot him, and if he steps foot in my house, I'll personally bash the crap out of the lying bastard. Would it hurt just a bit too much to referee the game fairly? Had he done that, Australia would've been walked all over by the team that, in a week, should've rightfully raised the World Cup but instead will have to settle for third - or, perish the thought, fourth - place. We are THE BEST. There is no team better. WE DESERVE THAT CUP.

Australia, give us our Cup back. If it wasn't for us, you wouldn't be up there. THAT CUP IS OURS. GIVE IT BACK. You've only had a good team for the last twenty years - WE'VE BEEN GOOD FOR THE ENTIRE HUNDRED YEARS WE'VE BEEN PLAYING. We beat you in our first ever game, we've beaten you so many times over the years it's not funny, and WE HOLD EVERY OTHER CUP YOU COULD HOPE TO ACHIEVE, AND YET YOU DARE DEPRIVE US OF THE CUP WE DESERVE THE MOST, YOU STUPID, UNGRATEFUL PILLOCKS. We have the Bledisloe Cup, the Tri-Nations Cup, the Super 12 Cup, the Under-21s World Cup, the Women's World Cup, the Rugby 7s World Cup, every Cup under the sun, APART FROM THE ONE CUP THAT ANY TRUE RUGBY COMMENTATOR WILL TELL YOU BELONGS TO US. We are the greatest team at the moment. We are the greatest team in history. We will be the greatest team in the future. Australia, mark my words, you're a flash in the pan and you shouldn't even be allowed to crawl on the ground the All Blacks have walked on, shouldn't be allowed to touch a ball the Blacks have touched, shouldn't be allowed to hold a Cup the blacks have held.

WHERE IS OUR CUP?

But we ARE still the best nation on the planet. We hold the more important cups - Bledisloe and Tri-Nations, acknowledged as unofficial World Cups - we hold all three other World Cups (Women's, Under-21s, and 7s), and we were the only country with teams that had a look-in at winning the Super 12 this year. We should have the Men's World Cup but we don't, and that's a crime.

I'm now going to blast my ears with very loud music. If I don't have hearing left in the morning, blame Australia, blame their stupid freaking rugby team, and blame the referee, who would've probably died from giving a decision in New Zealand's favour.
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