Axver (axver) wrote,
Axver
axver

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Is it possible for you to at least laugh at humorous comments?

I did not make it past the semi-finals.

Warning: profanity follows. I'm in a mood whereby utilising certain harsh and powerful words relieves stress. If anyone decides to take issue with this because they dislike profanity, this is why I have given you a warning, and if you think swearing is sinful, I highly advise you to check the entries I have marked as "memories" for one of them is an article discussing swearing and why it is not sinful.

Now, on with my rant.

Last week at the speech competition, I had FUN. I enjoyed myself, the crowd got into things, they were a likeable crowd, and it was just one of those dream speeches where everything goes right. This week it was the exact fucking opposite. I have NEVER performed to such a boring, dull, lifeless, and asinine crowd in my LIFE. Have you people EVER enjoyed the pleasure of laughter? By the end of my speech, I felt like an absolute fool, like they were all glaring at me thinking "What a moron, get off the stage" and why? I wouldn't have a fucking clue. I performed my speech well - although not as good as last week - and whereas I had gotten many laughs in previous performances, practices, and the like, I got NOTHING today. Not even at the comments EVERYONE has laughed at. Today was the first time I performed "Andre, it's time to go; the tribe has spoken" without hearing a single laugh - every other time, I've had people break out in laughter. Well, I said it in exactly the same tone with exactly the same amusing gestures today, and the crowd was silent. You could cut the stale, dull, boring atmosphere with a knife. At the end, I felt like pulling the finger at them and telling them all to get fucked, or at least lighten up a little. There was this other bloke who performed quite a humorous speech, and again they didn't laugh. The other five speeches were serious, some with the intention of being inspiring crap similar to what we all hear all the time, and they were loathsome. People just have NO idea. I'm growing to hate the speech competition. You either get lame-ass "you can be a hero" inspirational speeches full of the same you-are-great bullshit I always hear, or serious speeches that are so monotonous that you just want to leave. It is very possible to discuss a serious topic in a humorous sense, and most often you have a much better impact when you do so! When people feel entertained, they enjoy the speech a lot more. But one of the people who got through to the final, she presented one of the most morbid speeches on cutting, and by the end of it, not only did I want to be sick and tell her she was stupid, but I just felt so bored and annoyed that it wasn't funny. The other humorous bloke, I disagreed with him on quite a few counts, BUT I STILL ENJOYED HIS SPEECH. He made his points well, and he inserted appropriate humour to make the listener get into it.

The judging is so fucking rigged. People who try to entertain the audience never succeed. The stereotypical inspiring speeches and the boring serious speeches always make it through. Why? I wouldn't have a bloody clue. The best speeches never win. And it just makes it worse when you perform to a crowd that doesn't have the slightest hint of a sense of humour. Some of you may be familiar with the scene in Fawlty Towers where Basil Fawlty yells at his car, a mini, and bashes it with a tree branch. This is one of the funniest television scenes ever made, and yet I doubt these people would've found it amusing in the slightest. They probably would've turned away. They were so useless. I was glad to get away from them.

What made it even worse is that a dust/sand storm has decided to roll in. All day my nose has been running and my eyes watering, and the dry air made my throat so dry that I stumbled over a few words and found speaking a bit more difficult than usual. I probably won't be at school tomorrow because of the weather conditions. When I got home, I just sat in the air-conditioned non-dustness and blew my nose, and blew and blew some more. It was the worst day. My eyes are still sore and watery, my nose is still running, and my throat still feels dry and sore. Stupid weather.

But at least I get to miss out on Thursday. I hate Thursdays: the day starts with Maths B, finishes with Maths C, suffers Geography, English, and German, and has no SOR. I love SOR. It's the best subject, and Johnno is such a fantastic, interesting teacher. He always has something new to talk about to really get you thinking.

I've pretty much chosen the computer I want, and we'll be setting up a network at Alan's place between my computer and those of his two sons, with mine the main administrative computer. Tomorrow, in amongst working on some assignments I need to work on, I'll contact the ISP we plan on using and talk to them. Better myself than Mum because I know what's going on and actually understand things: my Mum probably couldn't be more computer illiterate if she tried.

Yes, that's it. Please, stop my eyes from hurting and my nose from running. Stupid bloody dust.

axver's Flesch-Kincaid Grade Level: 6
Average number of words per sentence:14.00
Average number of syllables per word:1.39
Total words in sample:9546
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And out of all the ones I personally did, this one I found the most amusing ... the others I tried weren't terribly exciting in my opinion.
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Mixing axverium with light_so_brightium causes a violent chemical reaction, producing a milky lavender potion which gives the user protection from prying eyes.
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