Lily keeps on selling me all these sob stories, and continues to be dreadfully negative. I'm sick of this "I'll never love anyone as much as you" and "I can't stop loving you" crap. Then she goes and tells me that she doesn't love ME, but who I USED to be, and that she doesn't like who I've changed into. Well, the people I respect the most all have noticed POSITIVE change in me. So somehow I think Lily is wrong and wants me to stay as the stupid prat who pissed all of YTF off. Probably wants someone like her. What she doesn't like is that I now get on with people from YTF, respect them, and listen to them. She can't stand it. She appeared to get insanely jealous a few times when I talked about people there.
Now she's coming to Australia, and I'm going to have to meet her. I need thoughts on whether I should or not. My 'friend'/acquiantance tells me I would be a very cold, heartless man if I did not agree to meet her, but I'm not sure if I agree. I have no idea if meeting her is a good move or not. The one big plus is I'd know she's a real person. Now, the main reason she's come on this tour of Australia and NZ is to meet me, and so I feel that puts me under a bit of an obligation to meet her. So should I or shouldn't I ...?
Quite frankly, these holidays are turning out to be both good and bad. The good is that I've spent 2 weeks doing stuff-all, and relaxing. But the bad seems to outweigh it quite significantly: I've lost YTF, my home; I've got all these problems with Lily (of which I have not discussed the full extent here for privacy reasons); and then today I had a big argument with two friends.
For anonymity reasons, these two people shall be known as Xavier and Lavender. They are in an Internet relationship, and have never met each other. That's beside the point, though. Xavier goes to my school, and I would call him a good acquiantance. He hangs around in my group, and would be the least intelligent bloke out of us all. However, Lavender tried to tell him he was smart. She asked me about it, and I wasn't going to lie to her. I told her that he was the least intelligent guy in the group, and she didn't take nicely to this. She got angry with me and basically implied "How dare I judge him!" and tried to claim he was smart. Honestly, he isn't. He then got on my case, and told me to "go f*** myself". The arguments with both of them were not enjoyable whatsoever and left me feeling very sick. I know they're going to get on my case again about it soon enough.
So, yes, I'm being plagued by problems. Do I meet Lily or not? What am I to expect from Xavier and Lavender? Should I let Aaron come round or not? Where do I go with the loss of YTF? And that's only the start of it. Well, things will hopefully resolve themselves. I hope they do. I hate this disorder.
Oh yes, we can't forget the fact that I've recently become the definition of loner. I have no life. If you ever needed an example of a loner, I'm it. In two weeks off school, how many times have I been to see my friends? ONCE. And only one of them I'd even count as a friend. I refer to my 'friends', but, to be honest, they are more just a group of acquiantances. But, lets now get away from negativity, because I'm sick of being unhappy. I've had crap on my mind all day and I want to cheer up.
I am currently running a little one-man campaign to prove the weatherman wrong. On the weather, they have been reporting that the Gold Coast is going to get down to below 10C (below 50F for you Americans), and that the daytime temperature has been in the range of 17-19C (mid-60s F). So I've grabbed the remote control for the air conditioning unit downstairs (the unit is not in use, and the remote gives the current temperature), and brought it up to my room, the coldest in the house, and roughly about the temperature it is outside; in fact, sometimes it can be colder than out there. Right now, it is a comfortable 22C (72F)! I'm convinced it will not drop below 15C (59F) at all tonight. If, for a change, outside is actually colder than in my room, it probably will only be a couple of degrees lower. Definitely not into single figures C. I love beating the weathermen at their own game; good fun, it is.
And, yes, this is winter. A cold winter, too. I would rub it in to all of you people who come from places that have cold winters ... and so I shall. *makes a song-and-dance about it and rubs it in* There, now don't you just want to come visit me in warm, sunny Queensland?