Axver ([info]axver) wrote,
@ 2008-02-06 20:58:00
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Current mood: depressed
Current music:'What Happens Now?' by Porcupine Tree
Entry tags:life

Bloody hell, it's lonely here. I'm not having a good evening. I had a fairly decent day and didn't feel too bad about life. I watched coverage of Super Tuesday, because surprisingly SBS here broadcast three hours of live coverage, and got incensed at all the US political things I don't like and wondered how the hell religious lunatics like Huckabee are actually serious contenders in the US. So I joined in on a good discussion on Interference. Otherwise I listened to music and tried to make something of the day. But some people have a remarkable way of just behaving completely inappropriately and bringing up things they shouldn't when I just can't deal with it, I've got enough on my plate right now, and I just feel like complete shit and very lonely. I wish someone was around, so that I wasn't just sitting here staring at a computer screen. I can't even summon up motivation to do much. I'm thankful I am at least cooking. Normally that's the first thing I lose motivation to do, but not this time around.

I've suddenly discovered how good Porcupine Tree's Half Light is. It's the b-side to Lazarus, and was the closing track of Deadwing until the last minute, when it was wisely replaced by Glass Arm Shattering. I had completely written it off upon first listening to it a good while back. Now I must have played it about 17 times in the last couple of days. It's a very soft, beautiful piece, and not quite as melancholic or depressing as something like Collapse The Light Into Earth.

Woohoo. New Zealand gets to lose to England in the cricket tomorrow. Our cricket team is a bad joke right now, and just to make things worse, our one potential saviour, Jacob Oram, is out. I'm almost glad the game's not being shown on free-to-air here. But how's that for you? On Australian free-to-air TV, you can watch live coverage of US primaries, but not New Zealand versus England cricket. I know which I'd rather watch, and it involves rules and terminology even more confusing than that in any electoral system. "In the last over of play before stumps, he clean-bowled one of the openers with a deceptive change of pace and then on the final delivery trapped the night watchman plumb LBW with a marvellous in-swinging yorker to take a double wicket maiden."

I just want someone to talk to.


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[info]ladyphoenixia
2008-02-06 11:53 am UTC (link)
Oram's out? Damn, that sucks. What has happened to the NZ team? We were doing so well a year or so ago.

And I love being able to speak cricket. Being able to follow it over the radio or cricinfo when tv's not available is nice.

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[info]axver
2008-02-06 12:02 pm UTC (link)
Yeah, Oram pulled his hamstring in that dismal first T20 against England yesterday, so he's out tomorrow but it's not serious and he should play in the first ODI on Saturday. He's being replaced by some fellow by the name of Daniel Flynn who previously captained our Under 19s team in 2004 and is apparently a rising talent. Oram's pretty irreplaceable though. I wish we could clone him and Vettori; then we'd have a great team! Well, in any case, I'll be glued to Cricinfo tomorrow, hoping for a miraculous turn-around from the Black Caps.

Speaking cricket around people who just don't get it is hilarious. I once tried to teach some Americans to play cricket and that's one of the funniest things I've ever done. Good times.

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[info]ladyphoenixia
2008-02-06 12:57 pm UTC (link)
Ah, Vettori. We love him because he looks like the quintessential nerd-made-good (as well as being a fantastic player, o'course).

Americans? Play cricket? That sounds amusing. Almost like trying to teach them Real Rugby, I think seeing gridiron players attempt it without all their padding and changing sides and such would be just hilarious.

Have you taught any Americans about the dangers of Drop Bears? Always good for a laugh.

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[info]axver
2008-02-06 01:10 pm UTC (link)
Haha, yes. Vettori is the kind of sportsman a nerd like me can relate to. Especially as I have glasses and bowl spin. It sucked that my vision is so bad that I could not seriously bat or field; I was the best spinner at my high school but there was just no way I could play on the school team.

I think my entry about teaching cricket to Americans is one of my best. Full credit to them for trying - hell, I've played with a couple of Aussies who were more inept than them! And it was an awesomely good time.

And oh goodness, do not get me started on American pseudo-football. To call that a sport is an insult to sport. My opinions on it are vehemently negative. If you need to wear a motorbike helmet and twenty pillows to play and have to take a breather every three seconds and need separate players for offence and defence, then you're just totally weak and incompetent. Now rugby, that's what you call sport, and playing with guts. A gridiron player caught in a rolling maul would not come out alive.

And I've got to pull the Drop Bear story one of these days.

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[info]ladyphoenixia
2008-02-06 01:56 pm UTC (link)
I'll be honest - I'm not a sportsperson, my hand-eye coordination was pretty shocking when I was young. It got better over the years, mostly due to playing handball at recess at school, but I'm still a pretty terrible cricket player. I can bat vaguely, but can't bowl especially well and am not much of a fielder, apart from willingly racing after the ball before it escapes too far off the field, haha.

And that was indeed an amusing entry. Good on them trying, though, I'm impressed!

And yes, yes it is. See, I barely consider aussie rules a sport - I mean, they get points for missing and can get over a hundred in a game, how does that even work? - so gridiron has no hope with me. Sic Jonah Lomu on them, bahaha.

And yes, it's so much fun. When one of my friends went to Thailand for a scouting Jamboree, they taught all the scouts from around the world how to look out for and defend themselves from drop bears. Hehe.

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[info]axver
2008-02-06 02:14 pm UTC (link)
I'm almost entirely hopeless at sport. The only reason anybody ever picked me for their team in PE at school is because I was seen as a good luck charm - whatever team I was on bizarrely almost never lost. But during summers, I would spend hours in the backyard bowling delivery after delivery. I started out bowling pace, but when I began to get more precise and the wear and tear began to cause the fence posts behind the stumps to crack, I slowed down and developed spin. It remains my lone sporting ability and I miss having a backyard to bowl in.

I've acquired a bit of an appreciation for Aussie Rules - it's insane, but in a good way. It's like a whole pile of random sporting abilities thrown together in a somewhat incoherent but at least fast-paced way. It's not ever going to rank that highly as a sport with me, but I've gone to a few games. My way of explaining its inferiority to rugby is that "in AFL, the ball controls the men; in rugby, the men control the ball".

I once remember reading that apparently somebody made an offer to Jonah to get him to play gridiron. I imagine he rejected it because he'd just eat the pansy gridiron players. I don't think he'd have much trouble giving the Mike Catt steamroller treatment to some wimpy mummy's boys running around wrapped in cotton wool.

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[info]ladyphoenixia
2008-02-07 07:47 am UTC (link)
Ah, cool. And I suppose, being one of the main sports in Victoria, it makes sense that you'd be introduced to it more - I don't know very many aussie rules fans up here.

And I can just imagine all those Gridiron players in their cushioned suits challenging Jonah just wearing his normal rugby outfit, and being completely bowled over. Bahaha.

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[info]axver
2008-02-07 02:39 pm UTC (link)
I actually began to watch Aussie Rules when I lived on the Gold Coast. On boring winter weekends, it was either that or rugby league, and I hate league. I feel like I'm just watching all of union's wimpy rejects. So I figured out what the hell was going on with Aussie Rules. Came in handy for once I moved down here.

Haha, that's an awesome mental picture. You can just see seven or eight of them trying to jump on top of Jonah, and then Jonah just flinging them all to one side before charging down the field, trampling a few more on his way. Wonder how the poor babies would cope if they had to play in thin rugby uniforms ...

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[info]evilmissbecky
2008-02-06 12:31 pm UTC (link)
Well, if you ever feel like making an international call, just let me know... ;-)

You could always go out window shopping. I've done that before. Just gone to the mall and walked around, not spending any money but just surrounding myself with people. Sometimes that helps.

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[info]axver
2008-02-06 12:37 pm UTC (link)
Skype's the free option. ;)

You know, I always feel uncomfortable in public by myself. It's my shyness. I inevitably gravitate to bookshops and flick through them. Or the university libraries, which have even more nerdtastic books. I'm just sad that my favourite library is currently being renovated and I can't go and spend a few hours there looking through the shelves. That's what I did last year to make myself feel better once I got over that asthma attack that caused me to miss an exam.

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[info]evilmissbecky
2008-02-06 12:50 pm UTC (link)
Skype's the free option. ;)

I have no idea what that is. :-)

You know, I always feel uncomfortable in public by myself. It's my shyness. I inevitably gravitate to bookshops and flick through them. Or the university libraries, which have even more nerdtastic books.

I say if you like going to those places, then do it. Especially now when you're hurting. Spending time in a place where you feel comfortable and familiar might be a comfort.

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[info]axver
2008-02-06 12:55 pm UTC (link)
Skype is an Internet phone call application. It's free for computer-to-computer, and I use it to call my relatives in New Zealand too because their rates to Kiwi landlines beats what my telephone provider gives me.

Yeah, it would probably be good to get outside. I need to make firm commitments. While I've got none, I can just put off things. You know, "it's easier to avoid". Which probably isn't the best way of coping.

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[info]evilmissbecky
2008-02-06 01:00 pm UTC (link)
Skype seems pretty cool. I may have to look into that. Thanks! Too bad I have to clock in and start the day here at work now. Bleargggh....

I need to make firm commitments. While I've got none, I can just put off things. You know, "it's easier to avoid". Which probably isn't the best way of coping.

Well, maybe it's not the best for some people, but it might be the best for you at this particular moment in time. If you don't feel up to being around other people, then there's no sense in forcing yourself into a situation that will make you uncomfortable.

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[info]axver
2008-02-06 01:15 pm UTC (link)
You're welcome. Hope work goes well for you today. :)

I think I probably would be better if I were getting out there doing things. It's just that moment when I'm seriously thinking "OK, I'll go soon", that I start to feel confronted with reality and decide it's just easier to put it off. I think if I had actual nailed-down commitments, then I wouldn't even have a problem - I simply have to go there and I know I can't rationalise my way out of it. I don't know though. My mood is up and down and this whole grieving process is all new to me in an unpleasant and confusing way.

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[info]starlighterased
2008-02-06 12:47 pm UTC (link)
Howdy,

I'm going to be in Melbourne.....er....just for a change. My Girlfriend is working from 1-5:15....or something along those lines on Saturday arvo. I could possibly pop around for a few hours catch up. Say around lunchtime.(I'd have to leave by say 4:30-5 to get back, we have an an engagement party to go to.)

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[info]axver
2008-02-06 12:53 pm UTC (link)
Hey, didn't know you even still used this! And that sounds really great. I've nothing to do on Saturday, so if you want to come around to my place or want to meet up elsewhere, I'm flexible. If you come to my place, you can be the first on Interference to try the muffins I've been trying to bribe voters with in the Rest Of U2 Survivor! ;)

Drop me an e-mail and we can work out details and things. My address is still amakaxver[at]gmail.com

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[info]khanada
2008-02-07 05:17 am UTC (link)
yeah, the results in my state for super tuesday utterly depressed me. i voted for obama, and hillary and huckabee won for my state. wtf.

then i got bored and read other comments on here...i heard about skype (and of course i used it for the setlist parties) and the whole free calling didn't seem like it was possible. and ugh, i keep forgetting about the survivor thing at interference. i tend to avoid eykiw like the plague. oops, i probably shouldn't have said that out loud.

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[info]axver
2008-02-07 02:46 pm UTC (link)
I saw that. I feel for you, living in a state won by Huckabee. That must be nauseating. I'd move. I can't believe Huckabee actually won a number of states. I can understand West Virginia's caucus outcome, where the McCain supporters switched to Huckabee when they realised they couldn't block Romney on their own but could by selecting Huckabee instead. But somewhere with a normal primary? WTF, seriously.

Hah. I don't think EYKIW is that bad. I enjoy the Survivor threads. And I can't wait for the drama later this year when the new album leaks. That's going to be so entertaining.

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[info]khanada
2008-02-08 05:28 am UTC (link)
yeah, i know. but at least it looks like mccain will be the republican nominee. i don't really like him either, but at least it's not hickabee - i mean huckabee. i think he got his support here because he was the arkansas governor. of course this isn't arkansas, but since we're neighboring states, people are familiar with how he was as governor.

yeah, it's not too bad, but times like this when there's no album or tour to discuss, you get tons of stupid "what if" threads and a bunch of resurrected discussions that have been done a million times. i like the survivor threads too, i just forget to go to the forum and participate.

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[info]axver
2008-02-08 11:07 am UTC (link)
I'm surprised Romney's dropped out. He absolutely gave me the creeps, but I thought he'd stay longer than Huck Huck. I'm wondering if McCain and Romney have cut a deal. I can't figure out who McCain will invite to be his running mate. Sure, Hickabee will bring the fundie nutjob vote, but that will alienate the independents and moderates that McCain is counting upon.

Oh, I love some of the totally bizarre topics for discussion that come up at this point. Things are going to get good on WTAHNN in about July or so when Bono turns up the hype machine and we have a 200 page flamewar over just what he means by "it's polka from Alpha Centauri" or some such bullshit.

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[info]khanada
2008-02-09 12:01 am UTC (link)
haha, huck huck, i like that. i wonder who mccain will pick as his running mate too, hopefully it'll be someone somewhat moderate.

i know! that's why i end up avoiding it. it's just so stupid. who cares what he meant by it, fans should know by now he's either talking out of his ass knowing reporters are desperate for a quote or he's trying to wind up his fans. either way, he's not meant to be taken seriously. the record, and not even the demos and outtakes, even resemble the genre he says it's going to be.

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