Axver (axver) wrote,
Axver
axver

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Advice and wisdom from my youth

Earlier this week, Kate and I were flicking through a diary I wrote when I was six and went on a holiday around New Zealand's South Island. I was honestly surprised at how neat my writing was and how I spelt almost nothing wrong, though as the diary progresses, my run-on sentences get worse and worse, to the point that some entries are one big sentence. Then we found what I did at the end to use up the remaining space.

My conclusion to the trip: "The holiday was great!!! You should have come, stupids! Seen an old road bridge? You should really see!!! Come on then pack!!! Are you stupid?"

Yep, you should visit the South Island to see AN OLD ROAD BRIDGE. Who cares about the Southern Alps? It's all about old road bridges.

Whistleing Bars and Other Stories (aka Crazy Stories)


Cars Are Crazy

"Cars are crazy" said Johnny one morning. He went to school. At school he said to everyone "cars are crazy". THE END.

White Sticks at the Door

"Who put these sticks here Mum?" said Jim. "Me" said Mum. "Oh" he said. "Mum, why are they white?" he said. Mum said "they keep earth spinning." "Aha" said Jim.

Whistleing Bars

"Shut up" said room 19 of zoo city school. "NO!" said the Bars. "WHISTLEING BARS" said the Bars.

I must have been on far too much sugar at the time. Or maybe I was making deep, insightful comments about society that only children can understand as they have not gone through the soul-destroying process of progressing through the teen years to adulthood.
Tags: insanity, life, new zealand, young axver
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