Axver (axver) wrote,
Axver
axver

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The forty-fourth President of the United States of America will be ...

Remember the Bono For President idea? Well, I quite liked it, myself. He's definitely got more going for him than Kerry and Bush: namely, the rare combination of a heart and a brain. Now most people were writing off the idea as a funny joke, but personally, I saw that there was more to it ...

Bono will win the US election, Bono will win the US election, Bono will win the US election, Bono will win the US election, Bono will win the US election, Bono will win the US election, Bono will win the US election.

Bono will win the US election, Bono will win the US election, Bono will win the US election.


By the rules of Revelation interpretation, I would like to hereby declare Bono the winner of the US election on 2 November 2004. I can hear your questions now. How can that be, when he is not even a citizen of the US? How will he get more votes than Kerry or Bush? Will ANYONE vote for him? And what in the world does Revelation have to do with anything?

Well, it's quite simple really. I do not know how, but Bono will receive more votes than any other candidate, and his Irish birth will be ignored by the authorities until it is far too late. How do I know this? The laws of Revelation interpretation say so. Numbers in Revelation are highly symbolic. Here's some important ones, with the applicable numbers bolded;

3 = God
4 = Earth
6 = Man
7 = Completed, completion, finished (i.e. seventh day of creation)
8 = Birth into the Kingdom
10 = Wholeness, complete
12 = Israel/the church
10,000 = Beyond count

Note that I repeated the phrase 'Bono will win the US election' ten times, and in a split division of seven and three. Not only is Bono's presidency of God, whole and complete, it shall be attained! This is undeniably God's will. The next President of the United States of America shall be Paul 'Bono Vox' Hewson, lead singer of U2 and humanitarian activist. A golden age shall be ushered in. Maybe the postmillennialists were right after all.

I made this observation in a comment and I feel it is worthy of my journal: If ever a biography of George W. Bush is written, I feel the first line should be a quote Bono would make before some live performances of Exit. "This is a story about a religious man who became a very dangerous man when he misunderstood the hands of love." All of you who are registered to vote in the US should remember Bush is a man who makes foreign policy decisions based upon instinct (and look where that got us in Iraq), refused to believe Sweden has an army, and is delusional enough to think God speaks through him. I still can't fathom why he won the Republican nomination rather than John McCain in 2000.

On a much less serious note, here's one of those thingamajigs going around LJ right now for you: </i>Reply to this entry with whatever is in your cut/paste buffer. Just click 'reply' and paste the contents into the reply box.</i>

--- 8:13pm ---

How could I forget? I better wish Larry Mullen Junior, U2's drummer extraordinaire, a happy forty-third birthday! Not that you'd guess it by looking at him, of course. I feel like I should be wishing him a happy twenty-third.

I think I shall now go listen to Sunday Bloody Sunday and celebrate Larry's birthday by cranking the military drums up loud.
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